Music
Hawley to Oppose Iran War Powers Resolution, Cites ‘Pre-War Naps’
Senator Josh Hawley announced opposition to the Iran war powers resolution, citing a need for personal ‘pre-war naps’ to ensure peak performance.
Tagged: Satire News (348)
Business
Pronto Formalizes House Help, Installs Tiny Cubicles for ‘Efficiency Specialists’
Pronto formalizes house help by introducing corporate KPIs, tiny mobile cubicles, and mandatory synergy circles, transforming domestic work into a full-fledged corporate grind.
Business
Dow Futures Drop as Market Panics Over Existential Dread of Squirrel
Dow futures drop sharply as a local squirrel’s erratic nut-burying behavior sends markets into a tailspin, causing widespread economic panic globally.
Music
“Spooky Action” Single Animates Appliances, Demands Existential Debate
The New Pornographers’ new single, “Spooky Action,” has accidentally granted sentience to household appliances. Toasters are now critiquing life choices.
Music
Lily Allen Performs New Album At First Concert In Seven Years, Audience Unaware
Lily Allen performed her new album at her first concert in seven years to a bewildered audience of one roadie and some pigeons. The unadvertised event marked her true return.
Music
Apple Introduces iPhone 17e, Further Complicating Purchase Decisions
Apple unveiled the new iPhone 17e, promising an ‘essential’ experience. It adds another layer of complexity to their already intricate product lineup.