World
Hawaii Tourism Board Admits They Invented Hurricane Lowell to Get a Break
A leaked Hawaii court transcript reveals tourism officials invented Hurricane Lowell just to get tourists to leave them alone for one weekend.
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Music
Country Grief Anthems Reach Quarter-Century Mark of Pure, Unfiltered Acoustic Traumatic Stress
A look back at the country grief anthems that helped us heal, or at least buy a lot of flags.
Politics
Pentagon PR Chiefs Draft Special Script For Donald Trump 25th Anniversary Address
Leaked Pentagon memo reveals the extreme protocols designed for the Donald Trump 25th anniversary address to keep him on message.
Music
Chastity Belt Safety Warning Issued for 'I Could Say Less'
A federal Chastity Belt safety warning has been issued for the band's new single, citing dangerous levels of second-hand embarrassment.
Politics
Disingenuous Mapping Rules Force Missouri Lawmakers To Use Real Math
Leaked memo reveals state lawmakers are struggling to cope with new disingenuous mapping rules that ban imaginary boundaries.
Music
Shygirl Announces New Album Swallow! but Label Mandates Mandatory Noise Canceling
When Shygirl announces new album Swallow!, her record label issues extreme safety guidelines to prevent listener ear damage.
Technology
Leaked Apple Memo Admits Foldable iPhone Duo Is Actually Just Two Regular Phones Duct-Taped Together
A leaked memo reveals Apple's new foldable iPhone Duo is literally just two standard devices held together by heavy-duty hardware store tape.
Politics
Rhode Island Primary Meltdown Exposed in Shocking Court Testimony
A shocking court transcript reveals how political consultants manipulated the recent Rhode Island primary for fun and profit.
Music
Tami Hart Album Recalled Over Excessive 2000s Nostalgia Levels
A federal recall has been issued for the new Tami Hart album due to hazardous levels of year-2000 indie-rock nostalgia.
Politics
Missouri Recalls Defiant 2022 Congressional Map Due To Choking Hazard
Federal regulators have issued a recall for the Missouri 2022 congressional map, citing severe choking hazards and jagged edges.
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Music
Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock Album Delayed Due to Simon Says Rules
The Sampa The Great Nu Zamrock rollout halts as listeners take the new single 'Simon Says' too literally.
Music
Geese Psyop Allegations Exposed as Band Reveals Five Government Secrets
Brooklyn band Geese address the geese psyop allegations in an explosive press conference detailing their ties to the deep state.
Politics
How To Spend Your Obamacare Rebate Check In Style
Get ready to spend your Obamacare rebate with our official guide to the most absurd ways to blow your federal windfall.