Heather The Jerk’s New Tape Scroll If You Love Devil Prompts Global Digital Addiction
Listeners report feeling compelled to endlessly scroll through their ex's vacation photos, even after their…
Charley Crockett Cancels Canadian Tour After Maple Syrup Smuggling Ring Exposed
Charley Crockett cancels Canadian tour after border agents uncover alleged maple syrup smuggling operation.…
Connecticut State Offices Closed for Epic Snow Fort Construction
Connecticut state offices closed due to a winter storm, but employees used the opportunity to build elaborate…
U.S.-Iran Nuclear Proposal Talks Yield Historic Agreement: More Talks
U.S.-Iran nuclear proposal talks concluded with delegates agreeing to more talks. 'Significant progress' made in…
NYC Travel Bans Spark Existential Crisis for Pigeon Population
NYC travel bans left the city's pigeon population in disarray. Birds pondered their future, unable to freely…
Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Immediately Signs 8-Figure DJ Residency
Finland's Prime Minister Sanna Marin conceded election results Sunday. She immediately announced an eight-figure…
Dinosaur Eggshells Discovered to Be Shockingly Judgmental About Other Fossils’ Age
Dinosaur eggshells have been found to not only accurately date other fossils but also offer incredibly rude,…
NASA Hauls Artemis II Rocket Back to Hangar After Discovering It Was Simply Unplugged
NASA announced the Artemis II rocket needs to return to the VAB for repairs after engineers realized it had been…
Grace Ives Announces New Album Girlfriend, Exposes Own Browser History
Pop artist Grace Ives Announces New Album Girlfriend, featuring single 'Stupid Bitches.' She clarified the title…
SZA’s ‘Save The Day’ Single Prevents Minor Catastrophe
SZA’s latest single, ‘Save The Day,’ is credited with preventing a series of mild global catastrophes, from…