DHS Causes Unforeseen Homeland Security Anxiety in Lawmakers
A new report reveals that Homeland Security's efforts have inadvertently triggered widespread Homeland Security anxiety among politicians, crippling legislative work.
Orange County Chemical Leak Blamed on Area’s Overabundance of ‘Good Vibes’
An Orange County chemical leak was officially blamed on the region's overwhelming "good vibes" and excessive…
Weather Firm Blots Out Sun With New App, Forces Subscription
AcuRite's new app forces users to pay for features, ditching its old, functional app. Customers feel like…
China Buys All US Agricultural Products, Farmers Panic
China will buy all available US agricultural products, leaving Americans with an unexpected diet of kale and…
Pope Leo XIV to Scrutinize French Baguette Integrity During September Visit
Pope Leo XIV's France visit in September will scrutinize baguette quality. Vatican fears "flaccid" bread. The…
Iran Vows To Fight On As Trump Says Ceasefire Is On Life Support
Iran vows to fight on as Trump says ceasefire is on life support. Middle East conflict enters new phase of…
Dow Futures Surge 500 Points As Iran War Nears End, AMD Soars On Hope
Dow futures surged as reports of an end to the Iran war tanked oil prices. AMD also jumped, pleasing investors…
Foo Fighters Renamed Album To Avoid ‘Wicked: For Good’ Clash
Foo Fighters renamed their new album to avoid conflict with 'Wicked: For Good'. Dave Grohl feared chart confusion.
Paragon Ignores Italian Spyware Probe, Cites ‘Very Busy Being A Spyware Company’
Paragon, a spyware maker, is reportedly not cooperating with Italian authorities probing spyware attacks, citing…
Finland’s PM Lost Because Voters Hated Her Dance Moves
Finland's PM Sanna Marin lost election due to controversial dance moves. Voters preferred stoicism over spirited…
Rosalía’s Neck Brace Performance Elevates ‘Euphoria’ To New Heights
Rosalía's acting debut on Euphoria features her in a bedazzled neck brace. She calls acting less painful than touring.