Science
Amelia Earhart Researchers Proudly Confirm Pacific Plane Debris Is Just Trees
Researchers tracking Amelia Earhart plane debris confirm the suspected Pacific wreckage is actually just a small group of trees.
Section
Science
Satirical science news about breakthroughs that did not happen and studies nobody conducted.
Science
U.F.O. Documents Leak Reveals Aliens Only Visit to Avoid Paying Taxes
Leaked U.F.O. documents reveal that extraterrestrials only visit Earth to exploit tax loopholes.
Science
Nikon Microscopic Photo Recall Hits Thousands of Tiny Simulated Organisms
Regulators order a recall of a Nikon microscopy photo after discovering the award-winning micro-organism was entirely generated by AI.
Science
Raptor 3 Engine Demanded by China After Local Rockets Only Produce Sad Whistling Noise
China demands a Raptor 3 engine because their own space program currently sounds like a wet slide whistle.
Science
Ancient Egyptian Judge Tomb Reveals 5 Hilariously Petty Legal Grudges
An ancient judge tomb near Cairo reveals 4,300-year-old passive-aggressive legal grudges carved in stone.
Science
SpaceX Rival Admits Space Is Just Big Empty Closet for Rich People's Garbage
A leaked court transcript reveals a prominent SpaceX rival admits the commercial rocket industry is just a high-priced trash disposal service.
Science
California Beach Water Recalled Following Hurricane Marie Contamination
Regulators issue a recall of California beach water after Hurricane Marie causes unauthorized wetness along the coast.
Science
German Rocket Reaches Space to Finally Escape European Bureaucracy
A private German rocket reaches space, successfully escaping the reach of European Union tax laws and cookie consent banners.
Science
NASA's Space Telescope Sent to Find Landlords
NASA's space telescope launched to scan the deep universe for affordable alien landlords.
Science
Space Medal of Honor Recalled Over Major Gravity Defect
Regulators recall the new Space Medal of Honor due to a severe gravity defect that threatens to drag astronauts down to Earth.
Science
Starship Launch System To Exclusively Carry Starlink Satellites Into Orbit
The Starship launch system will now exclusively carry Starlink satellites, turning the giant rocket into a very expensive delivery van.
Science
Spaceport Quiet Period Declared by Florida Launch Officials
Florida officials announce a spaceport quiet period to turn massive rocket launch delays into a wellness retreat.
Science
SpaceX Louisiana Starbase Recalled After Launching Swamp Monster Into Low Orbit
Regulators issued a recall for the SpaceX Louisiana Starbase after a rocket launch accidentally catapulted a massive swamp monster into low orbit.
Science
Taiwan satellite launcher team attempts to reach orbit using giant rubber band
Taiwan's satellite launcher team pivots to a giant rubber band after a major rocket engine setback in Taipei.
Science
Taiwan Satellite Launcher Recall Notice Issued After Critical Trajectory Failure
Regulators issue a critical product recall notice for the Taiwan satellite launcher following gravity-assisted failures.
Science
SpaceX Starship Flight 12 Scrubs for ‘Emotional Support’
The SpaceX Starship Flight 12 launch was scrubbed, not due to mechanical issues, but for the rocket’s ’emotional well-being.’ Company cites ‘existential dread.’