TACOMA, WA—Local legends Girl Trouble announced Tuesday the release of their first new album in 23 years. The record, titled As Is, will drop next month. Fans are reportedly bracing themselves. This marks the band’s return to their original label, K Records. Their last release was in 2001.
Decades Of Garage Rock Disruption
Girl Trouble formed in 1983. They specialized in a brand of loud, fast, and unapologetic garage rock. The new album promises more of the same. “We haven’t mellowed out,” stated guitarist and vocalist Eva Grubb. “If anything, we’ve gotten louder. The neighbors are already complaining.” She is the band’s co-founder.
The band’s raw energy defined their early sound. It also defined their local reputation. Reports indicate several noise complaints were filed during the recording sessions for As Is. Sound engineer Bartholomew “Barty” Higgins seemed unfazed. “It’s a beautiful noise,” Higgins said. “Like a badger trapped in a washing machine. We captured it perfectly.” Higgins is the band’s longest-serving sound engineer.
A Legacy Of Loudness
As Is will feature new material. It will also include re-recorded versions of older songs. This is a common practice for bands reuniting after long hiatuses. Girl Trouble, however, insists their motives are pure. They want to remind everyone why they were banned from the annual Tacoma Summer Fest in 1995. They were specifically cited for “excessive feedback and possible structural damage to the main stage.” Their enduring commitment to sonic disruption is clear. The band’s continued output proves their dedication to making noise.
Fans can expect the signature Girl Trouble sound. Expect distorted guitars and aggressive drumming. Expect lyrics that are both witty and nonsensical. It is a sound that has endured for decades. Girl Trouble’s music continues to inspire a generation of noise-makers. Their return solidifies their legacy. The band will embark on a short tour. Dates have not yet been announced. Sources suggest venues are hesitant to book them. They fear potential damage to their facilities. The band is reportedly considering outdoor venues. Perhaps a remote desert location.
At press time, Girl Trouble was reportedly seeking permits for a “controlled demolition” of a small unoccupied building. The purpose was to test new amplification equipment.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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