HELSINKI, FINLAND—Two obscure screamo bands announced the release of their high-concept split LP, PALLA, this week. Letterbombs of Finland and Heaven Through Violence of Boston collaborated on the project. The bands described PALLA as an “auditory tapestry.” Listeners confirmed the tapestry was very heavy. The LP explores themes of existential dread. It also features extensive liner notes. The notes detail the artistic vision behind PALLA. Nobody has read them all yet.
Vinyl Demands Sustained Attention
The conceptual weight of the record is reportedly crushing. Listeners have struggled to lift the vinyl. Several have reported minor injuries. “It’s like holding a black hole,” said one fan. They requested anonymity. Another fan described the experience. “I felt the conceptual weight of PALLA,” they stated. This is the core of the high-concept split LP. The bands hope it resonates. They want listeners to feel the art. The art is also very loud.
More Than Just Music
The PALLA project is more than just music. It is a statement. It is also a burden. Letterbombs vocalist Timo Rossi explained the process. “We wanted something tangible,” Rossi stated. He is the band’s chief conceptualist. “Something that demands respect. And maybe a strong back.” Heaven Through Violence guitarist Brenda Starr agreed. “The concept album is dead. Long live the conceptual LP,” Starr declared. She is also the band’s lead existentialist. The high-concept split LP is available now. Physical copies are recommended for donation to local gyms.
At press time, fans were still trying to flip the record over. It reportedly requires a small forklift.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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