Dow Falls 450 Points; Investors Blame Unnamed Invisible Gremlins
The Dow plunged this week as oil hit $90 and jobs data disappointed. Investors blame invisible gremlins,…
Dow Drops 700 Points: Market Mood Swings Blamed on Collective Financial Gut Feeling
As the Dow drops 700 points, market mood swings are identified as the primary culprit. Experts confirm the…
Dow Futures Drop as Market Panics Over Existential Dread of Squirrel
Dow futures drop sharply as a local squirrel's erratic nut-burying behavior sends markets into a tailspin,…