White House Announces New Strategy for ‘Iran Beyond Control’: Pretending It’s Fine
Amid fears of Iran slipping beyond control, the White House unveils a new strategy: complete and utter denial,…
Trump’s ‘Coalition of the Willing’ to Reopen Strait of Hormuz Consists Solely of Self
President Trump struggled to build a Strait of Hormuz coalition, reportedly seeking advice from trophies and his…
US-China Trade Talks Bog Down Over Panda Cuteness Metrics
PARIS—The latest round of US-China trade talks stalled over disagreements on how to quantify panda cuteness for…
Trump Escapes ‘Escalation Trap’ by Inventing a Bigger, Shinier One
President Trump freed himself from 'Trump's escalation trap' by creating a larger, more complex international…
Americas Shield Summit Unveils Literal, Unwieldy Cardboard Barrier
At the Shield of the Americas Summit, leaders unveiled a colossal cardboard barrier, hailed as impenetrable…
Iran’s Apology Redefined: ‘Sorry, Unless You Start It,’ Says President
Iran's president offered a conditional apology to neighbors, vowing to halt strikes unless provoked. The new…
U.S.-Iran Nuclear Proposal Talks Yield Historic Agreement: More Talks
U.S.-Iran nuclear proposal talks concluded with delegates agreeing to more talks. 'Significant progress' made in…
Johnson Urges Noncombat Troops to Ukraine, Cites ‘Expertise in Loitering’
Ex-UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson proposes sending noncombat troops to Ukraine, specializing in "strategic…
Geopolitical Snooze — China Threatens Widespread Napping Over Taiwan Visit
Beijing announces a "Geopolitical Snooze" in response to the Taiwan leader's US visit, threatening widespread…
Hungary EU Stunt Halts Aid Over ‘Emotional Support’ Russian Oil
Hungary's latest EU stunt blocks crucial aid to Ukraine until the bloc recognizes Russian oil as a vital…