Wage War’s ‘Song of the Swamp’ Spawns Literal Quagmire Across Nation
Wage War's new single, "Song of the Swamp," has reportedly caused spontaneous ecological shifts, transforming…
Topshelf Records Drops Ekko Astral Over Unfiltered Tap Water Preference
Topshelf Records Drops Ekko Astral, citing the band's egregious preference for unfiltered tap water. The label's…
US Blocks Maduro’s Legal Fees: Dictator Forced to Check Couch Cushions
The U.S. blocked Venezuela from paying Maduro's legal fees, forcing the former president to explore crowdfunding…
Missing Epstein Files Found In ‘Forgotten Recipes’ Box
The long-sought Epstein files, related to a woman's claim against Trump, were located in a box labeled 'Old…
Judge Finds Third-Country Deportation Unlawful, Administration Seeks *Any* Country
A federal judge ruled the Trump administration’s third-country deportation policy unlawful. The White House is…
Norman D. Loco Says “I Want A Beer,” Listeners Unsure If They Should Offer One
Norman D. Loco's new song "I Want A Beer" leaves fans confused. They don't know if they should offer a drink or…
‘ARC Raiders’ Leans Even Harder Into PvE With New Shrouded Sky
‘ARC Raiders’ new Shrouded Sky update leans harder into PvE. New enemies whisper doubts. Quality-of-life…
Buckingham Palace Debates Removing Prince Andrew With Elaborate Pigeon Courier System
Buckingham Palace ponders removing Prince Andrew via pigeon courier. The Royal Family seeks a uniquely…
General Praised for Masterful Balancing Act Amidst Trump’s Iran Threats
General Milley's skillful balancing act prepares for Iran war while appeasing Trump's tweets.
Bill Callahan Admits He Has A File On You
Bill Callahan revealed he has a file on you, filled with observations and passive-aggressive notes. It's all for…