Iran’s New Supreme Leader Revealed as AI, Diagnosed with ‘Syntax Indigestion’
Iran's new supreme leader, AyatollahGPT, is suffering from 'syntax indigestion,' emitting directives on quantum…
White House Announces New Strategy for ‘Iran Beyond Control’: Pretending It’s Fine
Amid fears of Iran slipping beyond control, the White House unveils a new strategy: complete and utter denial,…
Trump’s ‘Coalition of the Willing’ to Reopen Strait of Hormuz Consists Solely of Self
President Trump struggled to build a Strait of Hormuz coalition, reportedly seeking advice from trophies and his…
Oscars Afterparty Stars Unwittingly Attend Local PTA Bake Sale
High-profile Oscars Afterparty Stars bypassed exclusive Hollywood parties. They accidentally attended a local…
Lily Seabird’s ‘Demon In Me’ Summons Mildly Annoying Spirits
Lily Seabird's new single 'Demon In Me' is causing low-level bureaucratic poltergeists across Vermont, leading…
Trump Escapes ‘Escalation Trap’ by Inventing a Bigger, Shinier One
President Trump freed himself from 'Trump's escalation trap' by creating a larger, more complex international…
Airline CEOs Stunned to Learn Airport Security Officers Aren’t Paid for Work
America's airline CEOs were reportedly 'stunned' to learn their dedicated airport security officers had been…
Kim Jong Un’s Nuke Test Unveils Surprising Culinary Potential
Kim Jong Un oversaw a tactical-nuke launchers test, revealing new gastronomic applications. State media lauded…
Beavers Spark Furious British Banknote Backlash
A furious British banknote backlash erupted after the Bank of England announced beavers would replace historical…
TSA Workers Discover Hidden Talents Amid Paycheck Loss
Unpaid TSA workers have embraced new, self-directed roles after losing their first paycheck. They found…