Texas Senate Runoff Locks Candidates in Perpetual Battle
The Texas Senate runoff candidates, John Cornyn and Ken Paxton, are now locked in an eternal electoral battle…
Black Lawmakers Dump on Crockett, Create New Compost Heap
Black lawmakers found a new use for Rep. Jasmine Crockett: they decided to dump on Crockett, creating fertile…
Texas Senate Primary Buys State Outright, Becomes Its Sole Owner
The Texas Senate Primary, already the most expensive in history, has officially purchased the entire state of…
Kamala Harris Endorses Crockett, Sparks Existential Crisis in Texas Voters
Kamala Harris endorses Jasmine Crockett, accidentally triggering a widespread existential crisis among Texas…
Texas Senate Seat Sparks Existential Crisis, Lawmakers Report ‘Feeling Numbers’
Republicans' alarm over the Texas Senate seat has escalated to sensory perception, with strategists reporting…