LOS ANGELES—NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal vehemently denied recent social media rumors Tuesday. He was specifically addressing claims he DMed pop star Sabrina Carpenter. The alleged messages proposed turning her farts into a marketable cologne line. O’Neal called the accusations “utterly baseless.” He added that they were “olfactorily impossible.” The denial came via a brief statement from his publicist.
Olfactory Offense Refuted
O’Neal’s representatives emphasized the absurdity of the claims. They asserted the retired athlete had “zero interest” in such an entrepreneurial venture. “Mr. O’Neal respects Ms. Carpenter’s artistic talents,” read the statement. “He does not, however, seek to commoditize her personal emissions.” The rumors gained traction on various gossip sites. They quickly spread across platforms like X (formerly Twitter). One post detailed elaborate hypothetical scent profiles. This included notes of “bubblegum pop and existential dread.”
“These claims are a tragic misuse of digital communication,” stated Dr. Myrtle Bloxworth, Professor of Fictional Olfactory Studies at the University of Southern California. “To suggest such a project without proper scientific consultation is irresponsible.” Dr. Bloxworth highlighted the complexities of capturing and stabilizing volatile organic compounds. She specifically noted their rapid degradation. For more on the science of scent capture, see this article on fragrance creation.
Carpenter’s camp remained silent on the matter. Her publicist did not respond to requests for comment. O’Neal, known for his diverse business portfolio, has lent his name to many products. These include shoes, pizza, and car insurance. More information on his entrepreneurial endeavors can be found at Shaq’s official business website. This new alleged “Shaq Fart Cologne Denial” was a strange addition to his public profile. His previous ventures never involved bio-specific fragrance development.
A History of Unusual Ventures
O’Neal’s career post-NBA has been eclectic. He has appeared in films and television. He also became a successful DJ. The idea of a celebrity scent line is not new. Many stars have launched their own perfumes. However, this particular concept raised eyebrows globally. Social media users expressed a mix of shock and morbid curiosity. Some debated the ethical implications of monetizing a human bodily function.
“I’ve seen it all in this business,” declared Bartholomew ‘Barty’ Stinkerton, President of the International Federation of Niche Fragrance Brokers. “But a fartist’s personal collection? That’s a new low, even for celebrity endorsements.” Stinkerton suggested the incident could be a calculated viral marketing stunt. He did not specify for whom.
At press time, Shaquille O’Neal was reportedly seen researching patents for a line of ‘eau de gym sock’ essential oils.
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