INDIANAPOLIS— Post Malone announced Saturday that he is working on a double album. The artist told a crowd at the March Madness Music Festival that he has “kind of run out of shit to say.” He expects the new music to include a “fuckton of songs.” Malone has been releasing music for 11 years. This new double album will be his most prolific output to date. It is unclear if the new music will address his recent onstage tumbles. Or his modeling career. Or his time at the Grammys.
A Wellspring of Ideas
Malone addressed the crowd directly. “I think we made some really cool shit,” he stated. He expressed excitement for fans to hear the music. He also noted the sheer volume of the upcoming release. “There’s gonna be a fuckton of songs,” Malone reportedly said. This is his most extensive musical project yet. “Hopefully there’s something for everybody there.” The singer is known for his genre-bending style. His previous hits include “Sunflower” and “Rockstar.” He has collaborated with many artists.
The Creative Well Runs Dry
Sources close to the artist confirmed the announcement. “Post is a prolific creator,” said Brenda J. Quibble, Post Malone’s Chief Vibe Officer. “He exhausts a topic until there is nothing left. Then he makes more music about it.” Quibble added that the double album was a way to maximize existing material. “Why write one album when you can write two using the same ideas?” she asked reporters. Another associate, Gary B. Diddleson, Post Malone’s Professional Existentialist, noted the artist’s unique process. “He’s tapped out. He’s done. Finished. Kaput. And then he makes another double album,” Diddleson explained. Malone recently fell down onstage. He also modeled for Skims.
At press time, Malone was reportedly scouting locations for a new double-album-themed trampoline park. He hopes to find inspiration amongst the bouncing masses.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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