Drake’s ‘Iceman’ Album Features 3 Hours of Pure Disappointment
Drake's 'Iceman' album shatters records with a 3-hour runtime. Listeners endure endless disses, but find no actual ice.
Drake Drops Three Albums At Once, Fans Mildly Confused
Drake stunned the world by dropping three albums: Iceman, Habibti, and Maid of Honour. Fans are overwhelmed by…
Drake Drops Iceman Album After Leaving It In Block Of Ice
Drake finally dropped Iceman after hiding it in a block of ice. He also released two other albums, leaving fans…
Ibeyi Announces New Album Offering, Will Feature Existential Dread
Ibeyi's new album Offering will feature the twins recording separately. They explore isolation and existential dread.
Strokes’ Valensi Hiatus Blamed on ‘Too Many Chords,’ Replacement Brings Laser-Focused Energy
The Strokes Announce Nick Valensi Hiatus due to his 'excessive' chord knowledge. His replacement debuted with…
Thucydides Trap Literally Ensnares Several Prominent Scholars
A literal Thucydides trap has reportedly ensnared several prominent academics, proving the ancient theory more…
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems "settled." Diplomats are…
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for Remix, Hopes to Absorb Youth Electronically
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for new remix, sparking speculation the pop icon is attempting to download youth directly…
Salem’s Red Dragon Album Drops, Fans Confused by Hospital Socks
Salem's new album Red Dragon dropped alongside a Supreme collection, baffling fans who mostly received grippy…
Korean Stocks Hit 8,000 Milestone, Immediately Plunge 6% As Investors Realize It’s Just A Number
Korean stocks hit a record 8,000 points, then plunged 6% as foreigners sold off, proving that round numbers are…