Bruno Mars’ Mariachi Bolero Opener Hints At New Era Of Emotional Honesty
Bruno Mars' mariachi bolero performance signals a new era of emotional honesty. Celebrates uplifting moments in…
Social Distortion Announce First New Album In 15 Years Born To Kill, Fans Immediately Update Wills
Social Distortion Announce First New Album In 15 Years Born To Kill, sparking fears among fans who immediately…
Neil Sedaka’s Farewell Tour Concludes After Decades-Long Encore
Pop icon Neil Sedaka's decades-long farewell tour finally concluded, leaving fans exhausted. His commitment to…
North Carolina Democrats Chart Future Using Dried Pasta
North Carolina Democrats charted their future using dried pasta shapes. Party leaders believe the method offers…
Underscores Drops New Single ‘Tell Me (U Want It),’ Declared ‘Perfectly Fine’
Underscores Drops New Single ‘Tell Me (U Want It)’ to critical acclaim for its 'perfectly fine' sound, inspiring…
Panel Unveils ‘The 5 Best Songs Of The Week,’ All Are Elevator Jingles
A prestigious panel has announced "The 5 Best Songs Of The Week," redefining music by selecting sounds like a…
Radiohead ICE: Band Tells Agency To ‘Go Fuck Themselves’
Band reportedly confused agency for a low-budget cover band and then for a legitimate entity.
Bose QuietComfort Ultra Headphones Achieve Total Silence, User Reality Evaporates
New Bose QuietComfort Ultra Headphones offer such profound noise cancellation, users report losing their sense…
Sanna Marin Concedes Election with Aquatic Ballet
Sanna Marin conceded the Finnish election by performing a synchronized swimming routine with former cabinet…
Fever Ray Makes Film Debut In The Bride!, Audience Demands More Fog
Fever Ray made their film debut in *The Bride!*, baffling audiences who expected a more literal, less subtle…