Sixpence None the Richer Bassist Justin Cary Dies, Leaves Behind Hit Song ‘Kiss Me’
Justin Cary, Sixpence None the Richer's bassist on 'Kiss Me,' dies at 50. He played on one album.
Local Man Realizes He’s Too Old To Be In Band To Watch
A local man's dreams of rock stardom were shattered after seeing a young band. He realized he was too old to be…
Swifties Mobilize Against Kirk Hammett Over ‘CIA Psyop’ Tee
Kirk Hammett's 'Taylor Swift Is a CIA Psyop' shirt sparks fury from Swifties. The guitarist faces digital…
Fed’s Warsh Era Vibe: Interest Rates Now Dictated by Mood Rings
The Fed's Warsh era has introduced a revolutionary 'vibe' to monetary policy, with interest rates now directly…
Music Critics Announce ‘The 5 Best Songs Of The Week’ Are All Just Different Frequencies
International Council of Music Assessment declares 'The 5 Best Songs Of The Week' are just curated sound…
Syd’s “2 Many Days” Single Traps Entire Neighborhood in Perpetual Wednesday
Local residents report an inexplicable urge to deep clean their microwaves.
Channel Tres Stuns World With ‘Black Techno Guy’ Revelation
Channel Tres's new single 'Black Techno Guy' has critics and fans alike marveling at the musician's…
Finland’s Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Reveals Secret DJ Career
Finland's Sanna Marin concedes election, revealing a secret double life as a world-class EDM DJ. Voters opted…
French Rocket Name Change Spurs Global Scramble For Basic Nouns
A French space startup's forced rocket name change due to trademark infringement has ignited a furious search…
Scientists Uncover Truly ‘Heat-Proof’ Corals, Immediately Demand They Pay Rent
Scientists found 'Heat-Proof Corals' but are now suing them for rent. The indestructible marine life has become…