Lizzo’s New Album ‘Bitch’ Fails to Chart, Declared ‘Too Popular’ for Metrics
Lizzo’s new album, Bitch, definitively failed to chart on the Billboard 200. Experts hail this as a…
Finland’s PM Sanna Marin Lost Because She Didn’t Listen To Voters’ Complains About Her Playlist
Finland's PM Sanna Marin lost because voters were tired of her loud techno music. They wanted quiet and naps,…
Tierra Whack Raps Her Ass Off: Mixtape Prompts Urgent Anatomical Search
Tierra Whack's new mixtape, 'Whack's Museum,' has listeners literally losing their butts, baffling scientists…
The Alchemist’s ‘Liquid Form’ EP Drips With Unnecessary Depth
The Alchemist's new EP 'Liquid Form' challenges listeners with its profound depth and meticulous production. Is…
Tyla’s ‘Is It Love’ Sparks Global Tear-Shedding Epidemic
Tyla's 'Is It Love' makes listeners cry on command, causing a global shortage of eye drops and prompting new…
Desire Announces New Album, Promises Even More Summer Skin
Desire is already planning a new album focused on their signature "Summer Skin" sound. Fans anticipate more…
Sleep Announce New Lineup Without Matt Pike, Still Plan To Doom
Sleep announced a new lineup without Matt Pike, focusing on calmer vibes. New song and 2026 tour dates confirmed.
Gizmo Debut Album ‘All Your Worships’ Ignites Gift Shop Devotion
Shoppers now genuflect before novelty mugs and fridge magnets.
US Claims ASML’s Top Chip Tool Is In China; ASML Says It Is Not
The US claims ASML's top chip tool is in China. ASML says it isn't, possibly because it's being used as a coffee warmer.
Daine’s New Single ‘PQC’ Accidentally Rewrites Music Theory
Daine's new single 'PQC' is baffling music theorists. Its catchy, explosive sound reportedly defies all known…