Pearl Jam to Reveal New Drummer: ‘It’s Our Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma’
Pearl Jam will reveal their new drummer in September, calling it 'our mystery wrapped in an enigma.' The band…
Feeble Little Horse Announce New Album Bitknot: A Sonic Leap Forward
Feeble Little Horse's new album Bitknot drops next week. It promises more existential dread and catchy noise-pop.
Khanna Expresses Disappointment About Massie’s Defeat, Cites Lack of Existential Dread
Rep. Ro Khanna mourned Thomas Massie's defeat, citing a lack of existential dread. He called it a loss for…
Drake Makes History With Nos. 1, 2 & 3 on Billboard 200
Drake makes history, holding Nos. 1, 2 & 3 on the Billboard 200 with his new albums, proving his unparalleled…
Drake Ties Fleetwood Mac, Rolling Stones; Fans Rejoice With “Rumours”
Drake ties Fleetwood Mac and The Rolling Stones for weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard 200. Fans are confused,…
Trump Secures ‘Winnable War’ After Cuba Agrees to Surrender in Principle
Former President Donald Trump finally secured his long-sought winnable war on Cuba, receiving a conditional…
Trump’s $1.776B Fund Revealed as ‘Patriotic Lawn Gnomes’ Initiative
Controversy surrounding Trump's $1.776B Fund dissolved today. Its true purpose? Funding America's burgeoning…
Republican Hawks Warn of ‘Disastrous Mistake’ in Trump Iran Deal: Fewer Fireworks
Lawmakers fear peace could make upcoming summer barbecues significantly less exciting.
Hypersonic Missile Misses Target, Incinerates World’s Largest Ham Sandwich
A Russian hypersonic missile missed its target, instead incinerating the world's largest ham sandwich at a Kyiv…
Kali Uchis Kicks Off For the Girls Tour, Reveals Album Done for Years
Kali Uchis kicked off her For the Girls Tour, casually mentioning a 'whole album done' since before the…