Finland’s PM Lost After Voters Prioritized Proper Penmanship
Analysts confirmed why Finland's PM lost her re-election bid, citing voters' deep-seated demand for impeccable…
Clairo Details Progress On Fourth Album, Admits ‘It’s Different’
Clairo's fourth album is reportedly 'very different.' The artist is documenting inspiration and plans for it to…
Drake’s ‘Iceman’ Album Features 3 Hours of Pure Disappointment
Drake's 'Iceman' album shatters records with a 3-hour runtime. Listeners endure endless disses, but find no actual ice.
Drake Drops Three Albums At Once, Fans Mildly Confused
Drake stunned the world by dropping three albums: Iceman, Habibti, and Maid of Honour. Fans are overwhelmed by…
Drake Drops Iceman Album After Leaving It In Block Of Ice
Drake finally dropped Iceman after hiding it in a block of ice. He also released two other albums, leaving fans…
Ibeyi Announces New Album Offering, Will Feature Existential Dread
Ibeyi's new album Offering will feature the twins recording separately. They explore isolation and existential dread.
Strokes’ Valensi Hiatus Blamed on ‘Too Many Chords,’ Replacement Brings Laser-Focused Energy
The Strokes Announce Nick Valensi Hiatus due to his 'excessive' chord knowledge. His replacement debuted with…
Thucydides Trap Literally Ensnares Several Prominent Scholars
A literal Thucydides trap has reportedly ensnared several prominent academics, proving the ancient theory more…
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems "settled." Diplomats are…
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for Remix, Hopes to Absorb Youth Electronically
Madonna Taps Peggy Gou for new remix, sparking speculation the pop icon is attempting to download youth directly…