Maná Proves Why It’s Rock en Español Royalty By Extending Tour Into Next Geological Epoch
Maná Proves Why It’s Rock en Español Royalty by extending their 'Vivir Sin Aire' tour into several millennia,…
Skrillex Duro Vibrates Entire Continent Off Axis
Skrillex’s new track “Duro” featuring Young Miko has reportedly caused significant seismic activity, forcing…
Che Shares Two New Singles & SoundCloud-Only EP Fully Loaded, Sparks Global Auditory Fatigue
Industry analysts suggest artist may have simply forgotten how to stop recording.
Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Pivots to Professional Air Guitar
After Sanna Marin conceded election defeat, the former Finnish PM announced her new career path: competitive…
Elder Announce New Album ‘Through Zero,’ Immediately Divide By Itself
Doom metal band Elder Announce New Album Through Zero, prompting mathematicians worldwide to issue urgent…
Shaquille O’Neal Issues Stern Denial on Fart Cologne Allegations
Shaquille O'Neal vehemently denies DMing Sabrina Carpenter about turning her farts into cologne, calling the…
Empress Of Dream House Sparks Unrealistic Real Estate Demands
Empress Of's 'Dream House' single has inadvertently plunged the global real estate market into chaos as buyers…
Global Music Authorities Struggle to Select The 5 Best Songs Of The Week; Earth’s Rotation Slows
Global music critics are buckling under the impossible task of selecting The 5 Best Songs Of The Week, leading…
Landmark Ruling Mandates Social Media Changes: Platforms Must Now Host Live-Action Chess
Experts praise the move as 'a bold step towards making the internet slightly less interesting.'
BTS’s Confusing Return: Idols Greeted By Logistical Vortex, Global Economic Panic
Band members reportedly baffled, mistaking stadium for a highly decorated demilitarized zone.