Music
Sanna Marin Concedes Election After Losing Secret National Talent Show
Sanna Marin conceded election defeat, not just due to votes, but after failing a secret Finnish ‘Spirit of the Nation’ talent contest.
Section
Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Pussycat Dolls Reunion to ‘Celebrate Women’ by Being Pussycat Dolls
The highly anticipated Pussycat Dolls reunion aims to ‘celebrate women’ through its return. Critics note their previous work already featured women.
Music
’90s Alt-Rock Heckling Shakes Up College Hoops
’90s alt-rock heckling by a mystery fan decided a crucial college basketball game. Players were disoriented by grunge anthems.
Music
“Lip Critic’s Jackpot” Prompts Fans to Declare Personal Bankruptcy
“Lip Critic’s Jackpot” has fans liquidating assets for a non-existent scavenger hunt, spurred by frontman Bret Kaser’s identity theft.
Music
“Australia Showed Up” So Hard for Bad Bunny, They Forgot How to Go Home
When “Australia Showed Up” for Bad Bunny in Sydney, they meant it literally. Fans set a stadium record, then simply refused to leave, establishing a new permanent community.
Music
Peso Pluma’s ‘Dinastía’ Deluxe Edition Inspires Existential Dread Among Critics
Peso Pluma’s ‘Dinastía’ deluxe songs are causing critics existential dread. Listeners report profound emotional shifts. Are the corridos too real?
Music
Olivia Dean’s ‘Man I Need’ Lyrics Reveal Surprising Lack Of Specificity
Olivia Dean’s ‘Man I Need’ lyrics are vague. Fans love that the song’s desired ‘man’ could be anything. This keeps it #1.
Music
Robber Robber Drops New Single, Album Anticipated
Robber Robber dropped their new single “Pieces,” fueling anticipation for their upcoming album “Two Wheels Move The Soul.” Fans await more electronic indie rock.
Music
Lunachicks Doc Trailer Reveals Punk Rock’s Existential Dread
The Lunachicks’ punk-rock origin story gets a new look in ‘Pretty Ugly,’ exploring the existential dread behind the defiance.
Music
Kanye West Found Liable, Jurors Cite ‘Sad Little Nap’ During Mansion Trial
Kanye West found liable in Malibu mansion trial. Jurors slammed his ‘sleepy testimony,’ awarding $140K to injured contractor.
Music
Olof Dreijer Announces Loud Boom, Promises Existential Dread
Olof Dreijer announces new album Loud Boom, promising existential dread and confusing soundscapes. Fans are baffled.
Music
Hyd Announces New Album Hold Onto Me Infinity: World Is Ready
Hyd announced new album Hold Onto Me Infinity, featuring single “Angel.” The record promises a spiritual, digital exploration.
Music
Colter Wall Takes “Indefinite Hiatus From Live Music” To Study Howling
Colter Wall takes indefinite hiatus from live music to study prairie dog vocalizations. He seeks artistic authenticity through rodent communication.
Music
Kacey Musgraves Announces New Album Middle Of Nowhere, Is Deeply Unsure
Kacey Musgraves announced her new album Middle Of Nowhere, featuring Willie Nelson and her accountant.
Music
CFCF Unveils “L.U.V.” Album; Lead Single Sparks Existential Panic
Listeners grapple with irony, prompting unusual public service announcements.
Music
Kacey Musgraves’ ‘Middle of Nowhere’ Album Originates from Literal Nowhere
Kacey Musgraves’ ‘Middle of Nowhere’ album was recorded in a literal, unidentifiable nowhere, leading to bizarre recording sessions and lost engineers.
Music
TikTok Apple Music Integration Plunges Users Into Uncharted Depths of Stagnation
The new TikTok Apple Music feature promises deeper listening. Experts warn users may never resurface from their scrolling-listening trance.
Music
Deer Tick to Require Literal Coin Insertion for New Album, Tour
Deer Tick’s new album, Coin-O-Matic, and tour will operate on a literal coin-insertion basis, charging fans per song.