Section
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Israel’s new ‘Divine Bureaucracy’ initiative successfully barred church leaders from Palm Sunday mass, streamlining spiritual access with permits and priority lanes.
Finland’s PM lost her re-election bid not due to policy, but a shocking Spotify Wrapped reveal showing her love for ‘Oompah Polka-Core Fusion’.
Experts confirm online outrage metrics now primarily reflect programmed indignation.
Concertgoers encouraged to bring orthopedic cushions and emergency snacks.
Freya Ridings’ defiance has led to a bizarre industry trend. Artists now record chart-topping albums in supermarket aisles, changing music forever.
The Pentagon announced comprehensive Pentagon Iran Prep, focusing on ‘thoughts and prayers’ for potential ground operations in Iran. Experts laud the spiritual readiness.
Skrillex and Young Miko’s new song “Duro” is a genre-bending masterpiece. Critics are struggling to classify the experimental sound.
Shaboozey and Jelly Roll’s ‘Amen’ Again hits No. 1 for a second week, baffling experts and leaving listeners hoarse from repeating ‘Amen.’
Joyce Manor postpones shows as Barry Johnson suffers torn vocal cord. His powerful screams may need to be replaced by whispers.
Weezer kicked off ‘The Gathering’ tour with a rooftop show. Fans debated if they actually heard the music.
James Blake wants his credit removed from Ye’s Bully, claiming his contribution was an astral projection during a past-life regression, making the James Blake credit removed demand unprecedented.
CA7RIEL & Paco Amoroso’s ‘Free Spirits’ concert uplifted attendees, while Karol G had a full-circle duet with Alicia Keys. The ‘Free Spirits’ are real.
Dash Crofts, of soft-rock duo Seals and Crofts, dies at 85. His gentle voice on hits like “Summer Breeze” defined an era.
The third round of ‘No Kings’ protests saw participants expand their targets beyond traditional royalty to include Burger King franchises and playing cards.
Maná Proves Why It’s Rock en Español Royalty by extending their ‘Vivir Sin Aire’ tour into several millennia, baffling scientists and fans alike.
Skrillex’s new track “Duro” featuring Young Miko has reportedly caused significant seismic activity, forcing emergency services to issue new dance advisories.
Industry analysts suggest artist may have simply forgotten how to stop recording.
After Sanna Marin conceded election defeat, the former Finnish PM announced her new career path: competitive synchronized air guitar, stunning political analysts.
