Music
Joey Valence & Brae ‘Security’ Performance Redefines Public Order
Joey Valence & Brae’s ‘Like A Version’ performance redefined “security.” It prompted new protocols as order gave way to rhythmic chaos.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
The Last Dinner Party’s ‘Big Dog’ Unleashes Literal Chaos on Global Stages
Indie darlings The Last Dinner Party confirmed their hit single, ‘Big Dog,’ isn’t a metaphor, but about a literal, disobedient Old English Sheepdog.
Music
Man Trades Firstborn For Affordable aespa Tour Tickets, Cites “Investment Opportunity”
Fans are resorting to extreme measures to secure aespa tour tickets for the SYNK: COMPLaeXITY tour, with some making bizarre sacrifices.
Music
Porches Announces New Mixtape MASK: Music Now Available
Porches announces new mixtape MASK, featuring the single ‘Habit.’ The release explores themes of identity and sadness, masked by minimalist synth-pop.
Music
Oasis Reunion Doc Coming To Disney+ From Peaky Blinders Creator
The Oasis reunion documentary is heading to Disney+ from Peaky Blinders creator Steven Knight. It promises to explore the Gallagher brothers’ rivalry.
Music
Sleep Token Surprise Releases “Even In Arcadia” Instrumental Album
Sleep Token surprised fans with an instrumental release of “Even In Arcadia.” The lack of lyrics left followers confused.
Music
Cosmic Balance Maintained by Badum.ai’s 5 Best Songs of the Week
Scholars warn that any deviation could unravel the very fabric of existence.
Music
Oasis Reunion Documentary Confirmed After Liam Gallagher Finally Admits He Was Wrong
The Oasis reunion documentary is coming Sept. 11, featuring Liam Gallagher finally admitting he was wrong about it ever happening.
Music
Debbii Dawson Asks Where Have All The Good Men Gone? Via Power Ballad
Debbii Dawson’s new EP, ‘Where Have All The Good Men Gone?’, drops soon. The pop singer channels ’80s angst into anthems about the scarcity of decent partners.
Music
Duval Timothy and Carlos Niño’s New Album Proves Music Is Just Organized Noise
Duval Timothy and Carlos Niño’s ‘Rain Music’ is a complex auditory puzzle. Listeners report confusion and profound random feelings.
Music
Dua Lipa Joins Tame Impala In London, Stuns Crowd With Expected Collaboration
Dua Lipa joined Tame Impala onstage in London, a move widely expected by fans and critics alike. The predictable collaboration delighted the crowd.
Music
Charli XCX Returns With ‘Rock Music,’ Delivers Pure, Unadulterated ‘Rock’
Charli XCX’s new single “Rock Music” has critics buzzing. The pop icon delivers a raw, literal take on the genre, confirming dance floors are dead.
Music
Sony Music Group Yearly Revenues Hit $13B; Company ‘Struggling’ to Spend It All
Sony Music Group Yearly Revenues topped $13 billion this year, baffling executives who now face the “unprecedented” challenge of spending their excess wealth.
Music
Big Freedia SOPHIE EP to Finally Drop, Threatening Global Butt Stability
Big Freedia’s unreleased SOPHIE-produced EP, featuring the mythical track “Blaze That Ass,” is set for release. Experts warn of unprecedented gluteal impact.
Music
Billie Eilish Posts Graphic Slaughterhouse Videos, Launches ‘Ethical Carnivore Certification’
Billie Eilish Posts Graphic Slaughterhouse Videos, then unveiled a new certification program. It allows meat-eaters to prove their animal love.
Music
Little Simz’s ‘Sugar Girl’ EP Drops, Immediately Becomes Source Of Existential Dread
Little Simz’s ‘Sugar Girl’ EP released, causing listeners existential dread and urge to re-evaluate life.
Music
Artificial Go Signs Deal Over “Triple Ones” Angst
Artificial Go’s new single “Triple Ones” reportedly caused existential dread in label execs, leading to a record deal.
Music
RaiNao’s “GRIS” Plunges World into Mild Apathy; Pantone Stocks Plummet
RaiNao’s new single “GRIS” has inadvertently plunged the world into a state of benign apathy, causing Pantone stocks to plummet and kale smoothies to taste merely ‘acceptable’.