Music
Country Radio Embraces Taylor Swift’s Return: ‘A No-Brainer Decision’
Country radio welcomes Taylor Swift’s return, calling it the ‘easiest programming decision of the year.’ Her ‘Toy Story 5’ tune is set to chart.
Section
Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Bad Bad Hats & Party Nails Form Band, Ask World To Handle It
Bad Bad Hats and Party Nails members form new band Megasound, dropping a self-titled debut. The name ‘Megasound’ was chosen due to creative exhaustion.
Music
Hank Heaven’s New Song “Thread” Ties Listeners in Knots of Existential Dread
Hank Heaven’s new song “Thread” is a hit. It’s also causing listeners to feel tangled in emotional knots and existential dread.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo’s Mom Chose Korn Over Daughter’s Lollapalooza Set
Olivia Rodrigo’s mom skipped her daughter’s Lollapalooza set to see Korn. She cited a need for nu-metal catharsis.
Music
Finland’s PM Lost Re-Election Due to Nation’s Severe Tiny Hat Deficit
Finland’s PM lost her re-election bid due to a critical national shortage of tiny, whimsical hats, voters confirmed. The lack of miniature millinery overshadowed all other issues.
Music
GB Announces New Album Herzsprung, Hopes For Less Adrenaline
GB’s new album Herzsprung aims for calm, unlike his panic-inducing single “Adrenaline.”
Music
Morgan Noise Drops Second Song From Upcoming Album About Building Things
Morgan Noise announced her debut album Something Built, Something Remembered. The band claims their music is a sturdy structure.
Music
Bonobo’s ‘Distance in Static’ Features Guest Spots, Existential Dread
Bonobo’s ‘Distance in Static’ album features Arooj Aftab and Nilüfer Yanya. The artist explores modern anxieties and digital disconnection.
Music
Taylor Swift Lands Role As Live-Action Bo Peep In Surprise ‘Toy Story 5’ Cameo
Taylor Swift surprises ‘Toy Story 5’ premiere with a song as Bo Peep. A rare performance! Is she voicing the character?
Music
Slow Pulp Announce New Album Melodie, Confirm Existential Dread Remains
Slow Pulp’s new album Melodie drops this fall. Lead single ‘Better Man’ confirms the band is sticking to its signature sound. Existential dread is back on the menu.
Music
Bonobo Announces New Album ‘Distance In Static’ To Confuse Listeners
Bonobo announces his new album ‘Distance In Static,’ exploring sonic void and listener distance. Features Arooj Aftab, Nilüfer Yanya.
Music
Slow Pulp New Album ‘Melodie’ Inspires Existential Dread In Listeners
Slow Pulp’s new album ‘Melodie’ is making listeners question everything. The band’s latest release is a masterclass in sonic ennui.
Music
Marci Announces Mask Lady And Late Night Girl, Promises Existential Dread
Marci announces her new album ‘Mask Lady And Late Night Girl,’ featuring the single ‘Butterfly Sticker.’ The album promises existential themes.
Music
Rush’s Fifty Something Tour 2026 Setlist Sparks Existential Crisis
Rush’s Fifty Something Tour 2026 Setlist causes existential dread with surprising deep cuts and extended drum solos.
Music
Cara Delevingne Finally Releases Music After Decades Of Not Releasing Music
Cara Delevingne released her deeply personal music, waiting years to share her sound after struggles with sobriety.
Music
A$AP Rocky’s Chaotic Arena Spectacle Mostly Worth The Wait, Mostly
A$AP Rocky’s chaotic arena spectacle mostly worth the wait saw fans playing duck duck goose and napping for hours.
Music
Alexis Taylor & Mike Simonetti’s ‘I See A Darkness’ Plunges World Into Literal Gloom
Alexis Taylor & Mike Simonetti’s “I See A Darkness” cover track has mysteriously caused global power outages and literal darkness, baffling scientists.
Music
Nick Hakim Announces New Album ‘I Can See,’ Prompting Global Optometrist Layoffs
Nick Hakim announces new album ‘I Can See,’ prompting global clarity. Listeners gain perfect 20/20 vision, devastating the optometrist industry.