Music
“Winston Hightower 100 Acre Wood” Sparks Existential Crisis in Retail
Retailers reported mass confusion and existential dread after attempting to stock the *Album Of The Week: Winston Hightower 100 Acre Wood*.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Terra Twin Announce New EP Scumbag, Unveil First Single
Terra Twin announced new EP Scumbag. Frontman Maxim Baldry juggles acting in Lord Of The Rings. Band practice suffers.
Music
Paycheque Announce Debut Album, Promise Generic Actress Sound
Paycheque’s debut album will feature their single “Generic Actress,” aiming for a sound that’s pleasant but forgettable.
Music
Jorginho Finally Concedes Chappell Roan Did Not Make His Daughter Cry
Jorginho finally admits Chappell Roan did not make his daughter cry, apologizing for the confusion.
Music
Dimmu Borgir Announce 2026 North American Tour, Offer Free Black Metal Earplugs
Dimmu Borgir’s 2026 North American tour promises darkness. Free earplugs are included for audience protection.
Music
Primal Scream To Play ‘Xtrmntr’ In Full, Because Why Not
Primal Scream will play Xtrmntr in full on tour. Band members are reportedly confused about the album’s anniversary.
Music
Nathy Peluso Earns First No. 1 on Latin Airplay Chart
Nathy Peluso hits No. 1 with Marc Anthony. Anthony demanded a lifetime of empanadas for his help.
Music
Hayley Williams Covers ‘Cover Me Up’ To Remind Everyone About Morals
Hayley Williams covered Jason Isbell’s ‘Cover Me Up,’ subtly reminding fans of its controversial past and the artists involved.
Music
The Strokes Announce 2026 Tour Dates With Full Band Karaoke
The Strokes’ 2026 tour dates will feature karaoke sessions. Julian Casablancas will pick the songs.
Music
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ Two-Steppin’ To Sixth Week Atop Hot 100
Ella Langley’s ‘Choosin’ Texas’ stays No. 1 for six weeks as Olivia Dean’s ‘Be Her’ hits top 10, proving women are choosin’ the chart.
Music
Rock Noiseniks Parts and Labor Reunite With 20-Minute Single
Noise rock legends Parts and Labor reunite with a 20-minute, four-part single. Fans prepare for the sonic assault.
Music
Parts & Labor’s First Album In 15 Years Is Already A Set Of All Sets
Parts & Labor’s first album in 15 years, Set Of All Sets, is a double LP promising sonic chaos. Reunion tour announced.
Music
Roth, Carlton, Jonas Debut At Coachella With Teddy Swims
Roth, Carlton, Jonas make surprise Coachella debuts with Teddy Swims, leaving fans bewildered. A truly unforgettable, baffling moment.
Music
Danielle Previews New Solo Music Amid ADOR Lawsuit, Demands New Band Name
NewJeans’ Danielle previewed new solo music amid the ADOR lawsuit. She also reportedly requested a name change for the group.
Music
Mike Patton Sings Faith No More With Avett Brothers At AVTT/PTTN Tour Opener
Mike Patton sings Faith No More with the Avett Brothers at AVTT/PTTN tour opener. Fans left confused.
Music
Karol G’s Coachella Headliner Debut Causes Minor Earthquake
Karol G’s historic Coachella headline debut reportedly caused minor earthquakes. Scientists linked the tremors to her ‘Bichota’ performance.
Music
Iggy Pop’s Third Trip To Coachella Proves He’s Still The Godfather Of Punk
Iggy Pop’s third trip to Coachella was a roaring success, proving the punk icon’s enduring relevance and electrifying stage presence.
Music
K-Pop Albums Top Billboard 200, Demand International Snacks
K-Pop albums topping the Billboard 200 now inspire cravings for international snacks, baffling retailers and inspiring fan petitions.