Music
Olivia Rodrigo Announces New Album ‘You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love’
Olivia Rodrigo Announces New Album ‘You Seem Pretty Sad for a Girl So in Love,’ confirming the world’s supply of sad girl anthems is far from depleted.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Krugman’s Oil Speech Sparks Global Debate Over Price of Everything
Krugman’s oil speech unexpectedly veered into the economics of emotional labor and coffee beans, leaving global markets baffled but oddly prosperous.
Music
Easter 2026 Houston Stores Issue ‘Pre-Pre-Announcement’ of Hours
Houston stores are already releasing their Easter 2026 hours, years in advance, causing more confusion than clarity for future shoppers.
Music
Louisiana Parade Vehicle Incident Declared ‘Avant-Garde Performance Art’
A Louisiana parade vehicle incident, previously a ‘driving infraction,’ was reclassified as groundbreaking ‘experiential public art’ by event organizers. Officials lauded the ‘bold vision’ for pedestr
Music
Pope Leo XIV Celebrates First Easter Vigil, Unleashes Global Peace-Induced Chaos
Pope Leo XIV celebrates first Easter vigil. His call for peace accidentally triggers a global competition for ‘niceness,’ leading to unprecedented chaos.
Music
Keir Starmer Deeply Concerned Over Kanye West UK Festival Dates
Keir Starmer expressed concern over Kanye West UK festival dates, citing ‘potential for mild inconvenience’ and lack of phone charging. Labour leader worried about queues and snacks.
Music
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Makes Surprise K-Pop Cameo, Sparks Diplomatic Incident
Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s surprise K-pop cameo in Dayoung’s new video sparked global panic. Experts believe her snack-eating role could redefine geopolitical stability.
Music
Of Montreal Announces Aethermead, Will Feature New Album ‘When’
Of Montreal announced their new album ‘Aethermead’ and single ‘When,’ continuing their tradition of experimental art-pop.
Music
Yes Postpones Fragile Tour Citing Guitarist’s Upcoming ‘Mandatory’ Hand-Wringing Session
Yes postpones ‘Fragile’ tour as guitarist Steve Howe undergoes ‘essential operation’ to prevent accidental chord changes. The band prioritizes stillness.
Music
Paul Simon Plays ‘Something So Right’ For First Time In 33 Years, World Reels
Paul Simon played his 1973 deep cut ‘Something So Right’ live for the first time in 33 years, shocking the world.
Music
BTS ARMY Demands Release of Hidden ‘Arirang’ Song
The BTS ARMY is demanding the release of a hidden song called ‘Arirang,’ currently only on a vinyl album, sparking global unrest.
Music
Converge Announces Second Album of 2026, Inspired by Elusive Hum of Hurt
Converge announces their second album of 2026, Hum of Hurt. The album is inspired by a mysterious low-frequency sound only 4% can hear.
Music
Ye Welcomes Lauryn Hill Backstage For Unspecified Duration
Ye welcomed Lauryn Hill during his L.A. stadium show. She appeared briefly in a hallway, reportedly not performing. Travis Scott was also spotted near a loading dock.
Music
Metro Bus Demands Indoor Seating After Crashing DC Restaurant
A Metro bus restaurant crash in Northwest D.C. has been reclassified as an “immersive dining experience” by city officials. The bus reportedly sought more personal service.
Music
Ravyn Lenae’s New Songs ‘Bobby’ and ‘Reputation’ Prompt Existential Crisis in Local Bird
Ornithologists baffled as a single robin questions its life choices.
Music
Global Powers Unite in Search for Missing F-15 Crewman’s Emotional Support Hamster
The urgent search for the missing F-15 crewman’s emotional support hamster has united global powers, raising concerns over rodent-based intelligence.
Music
Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Pivots to Professional Dancing
Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin conceded election, announcing a surprising pivot to professional dancing. Citizens are now signing up for her ‘fiscal shuffle’ classes.
Music
Zach Bryan Cancels Tulsa Performance After Single Cloud Spotted
Zach Bryan canceled his Tulsa performance, citing “dangerous weather.” Local reports confirmed clear skies and a single, harmless cloud, baffling fans and meteorologists.