Music
Zach Bryan Cancels Tulsa Performance After Single Cloud Spotted
Zach Bryan canceled his Tulsa performance, citing “dangerous weather.” Local reports confirmed clear skies and a single, harmless cloud, baffling fans and meteorologists.
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Music
Satirical news and absurd commentary on the music industry, artists, charts and everything in between.
Music
Kanye West Concert Becomes Open Mic Night for Extended Family
The second night of the Kanye West concert at SoFi Stadium surprised attendees with an endless parade of guest performers, making it a sprawling ensemble.
Music
Listeners Literally Delve Into Los Thuthanaka’s Wak’a EP
Listeners are literally delving into Los Thuthanaka’s Wak’a EP, prompting geologists to investigate widespread, music-inspired subterranean excavation. Authorities are baffled.
Music
Weird Nightmare’s “Where I Belong” Officially Declared Where It Belongs
Weird Nightmare’s “Where I Belong” album is where it belongs. It begins and ends with the same song. Fans are confused.
Music
‘Time’s Ticking,’ Indeed: Country Songs Take Awhile To Reach No. 1
Justin Moore’s ‘Time’s Ticking’ took a year to hit No. 1. The song’s leisurely ascent highlights a trend of slow climbs on the Country Airplay chart.
Music
Afroman Drops ‘Freedom of Speech’ Album, Promises More Weed
Afroman’s new album ‘Freedom of Speech’ drops April 20th. His tour expands, promising more weed and personal freedoms.
Music
Raye’s ‘This Music May Contain Hope’ Album Cracks Top Spot, Confounds Experts
Raye’s new album, ‘This Music May Contain Hope,’ has defied expectations by hitting number one. Experts are baffled by the public’s sudden embrace of potential optimism.
Music
Ravyn Lenae’s New Tracks Spark Wave of Unsolicited Laundry Folding
Ravyn Lenae’s latest songs, “Reputation” and “Bobby,” are baffling authorities. Listeners report strange compulsions like organizing spice racks and vacuuming.
Music
Leyla Ebrahimi’s “I’m Sorry Maria” Voted Most Likely To Be A Vibe
Leyla Ebrahimi’s “I’m Sorry Maria” is engineered for virality. Experts call the song a perfectly crafted vibe. Its emotionality is algorithm-ready.
Music
Ski Mask The Slump God Samples Smashing Pumpkins, Breaks Rules In New Track
Ski Mask The Slump God samples Smashing Pumpkins on “BreakTheRules!,” promising to break the rules over fuzzy bass. A bold, generational statement.
Music
Finland’s PM Lost Due to Unsorted Sock Drawer, Analysts Confirm
Finland’s PM’s loss was not due to policy. New analysis confirms voters were primarily concerned with her surprisingly chaotic sock drawer.
Music
International Law Experts Indicted for Alleging Violations in Iran War
International law experts were indicted for committing international law violations by simply *alleging* breaches in the Iran war, sending shockwaves.
Music
Trump Declares ‘Mission Accomplished’ After Iran’s Largest Bridge Turns to Rubble
President Trump declared ‘Mission Accomplished’ after a U.S. strike successfully obliterated Iran’s largest bridge, a key target connecting two uninhabited islands.
Music
Ravyn Lenae and Dominic Fike Put Loyalty to the Test on ‘Reputation’ with Mandatory Polygraphs
Ravyn Lenae and Dominic Fike Put Loyalty to the Test on ‘Reputation’, inspiring label-wide mandatory polygraphs and loyalty bracelets that beep at disloyalty.
Music
U2 Unleashes Another Surprise EP, Public Remains Unsurprised
U2’s latest ‘surprise’ EP, Easter Lily, lands with predictable fanfare as fans struggle to feign shock. The U2 Surprise EP strategy hits new lows of surprise.
Music
The Temper Trap Sungazer Album Materializes, Bandmates Report Memory Loss
The Temper Trap Sungazer album has mysteriously appeared after a decade. Band members deny any memory of recording it, claiming “creative amnesia” as they prepare for tour.
Music
SB19’s ‘Wakas At Simula’ Album: All 24 Tracks Ranked by Unqualified Experts
SB19’s 24-track ‘Wakas At Simula’ album has fans overwhelmed. Listeners struggle to rank the sprawling collection, proving endurance is key.
Music
Wednesday Cover MJ Lenderman For April Fools’ Day In Boston
Wednesday covered MJ Lenderman for April Fools’ Day in Boston. The band performed a snippet of his solo work, confusing some fans.