Syd’s “2 Many Days” Single Traps Entire Neighborhood in Perpetual Wednesday
Local residents report an inexplicable urge to deep clean their microwaves.
Channel Tres Stuns World With ‘Black Techno Guy’ Revelation
Channel Tres's new single 'Black Techno Guy' has critics and fans alike marveling at the musician's…
Finland’s Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Reveals Secret DJ Career
Finland's Sanna Marin concedes election, revealing a secret double life as a world-class EDM DJ. Voters opted…
French Rocket Name Change Spurs Global Scramble For Basic Nouns
A French space startup's forced rocket name change due to trademark infringement has ignited a furious search…
Scientists Uncover Truly ‘Heat-Proof’ Corals, Immediately Demand They Pay Rent
Scientists found 'Heat-Proof Corals' but are now suing them for rent. The indestructible marine life has become…
Lizzo’s New Album ‘Bitch’ Fails to Chart, Declared ‘Too Popular’ for Metrics
Lizzo’s new album, Bitch, definitively failed to chart on the Billboard 200. Experts hail this as a…
Tierra Whack Raps Her Ass Off: Mixtape Prompts Urgent Anatomical Search
Tierra Whack's new mixtape, 'Whack's Museum,' has listeners literally losing their butts, baffling scientists…
The Alchemist’s ‘Liquid Form’ EP Drips With Unnecessary Depth
The Alchemist's new EP 'Liquid Form' challenges listeners with its profound depth and meticulous production. Is…
Tyla’s ‘Is It Love’ Sparks Global Tear-Shedding Epidemic
Tyla's 'Is It Love' makes listeners cry on command, causing a global shortage of eye drops and prompting new…
Desire Announces New Album, Promises Even More Summer Skin
Desire is already planning a new album focused on their signature "Summer Skin" sound. Fans anticipate more…