NEW DELHI—A fiery hearing before the High Court exposed the inner workings of the national Cockroach protest movement Tuesday. Transcripts revealed how deeply the underground youth movement infiltrated everyday municipal infrastructure.
Q: Mr. Sharma, as chief organizer of the Cockroach protest, did you instruct students to scatter under the fridge when police turned on the lights?
A: Yes. That is standard field doctrine for any New Delhi youth rally. We trained them for months in dark kitchens.
Q: And is it true your movement survives entirely on discarded crumbs of corporate funding?
A: We can survive off the glue on the back of postage stamps for six months. You cannot suppress us. The police brought boots, but we evolved hard chitin armbands.
Q: Let the record show the witness is actively twitching his antennae. Mr. Sharma, how many public buildings currently house active cells of your Cockroach protest?
A: Every single one. If you spray tear gas into Parliament, two hundred more of us will simply crawl out from behind the wainscoting to demand democratic reform.
Q: You expect this court to believe that an entire generation of voters simply decided to abandon traditional rallies and hide in the walls?
A: The government turned off the internet. Hiding in the drywall was the next logical step for the Cockroach protest. My associate Lucinda Okonkwo-Bright, Director of Forward-Looking Regret, warned you that youth dissent is completely nuclear-resistant. You can crush ten of us with a rolled-up newspaper, but a thousand more will hatch in the municipal plumbing by morning.
