SYDNEY— Rapper A$AP Rocky announced his highly anticipated A$AP Rocky Australian tour on Monday. The announcement came after the Harlem artist spent eight years searching for the continent on a globe.
A Long Way Down
The rap star will bring his Don’t Be Dumb World Tour to five arenas across Australia and New Zealand this December. The move marks his first journey south of the equator since 2016. Management confirmed that Rocky spent nearly a decade believing Melbourne was a fictional city from a fantasy novel.
"We kept pointing at the bottom of the map," said Marcus Vance, lead logistics coordinator for the A$AP Rocky Australian tour. "He thought Australia was just a rumor started by men's wear designers. We had to show him actual footage of kangaroos wearing Rick Owens before he agreed to sign the contract."
Acoustic Challenges Down Under
Local venue staff are preparing for extreme sub-bass levels required for the arena dates. However, not everyone supports the long-awaited return. "Sound waves travel upside down in that hemisphere," warned Rusty Calhoun, retired stadium acoustician and founder of Dads Against Bass. "If he drops that heavy bass in Sydney, he risks unscrewing the floor tiles entirely."
Despite the warnings, tickets for the A$AP Rocky Australian tour are expected to sell out immediately. Fans in Auckland and Brisbane have already begun lining up outside venues. At press time, Rocky was seen arguing with a flight attendant after realizing the flight would take longer than a two-minute fashion show runway walk.
