Music
Drake Reveals Dad Has Cancer, Offers Him Ride To Chemo
Album also features Drake driving himself to dealer for new rims.
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Music
Julieta Venegas ‘Norteña’ Album Accidentally Triggers Border Wall Construction
Julieta Venegas’ new album ‘Norteña’ is so authentically rooted in regional Mexican sounds that its sonic vibrations have begun constructing a physical border wall.
Music
Stabbing Westward Announces 30 Years of Wither Blister Burn & Peel Tour with Surprises
Stabbing Westward is touring for 30 years of Wither Blister Burn & Peel. They’ll play the album live and release a re-recording that sounds the same.
Music
The Avalanches Drop “Together” After Years of Cryptic Laser Tag
The Avalanches released “Together” after a cryptic RPG. The song captures the spirit of laser tag.
Music
Be Your Own Pet Announces 20th Anniversary Tour, Still Unsure What A Pet Is
Be Your Own Pet’s 20th anniversary tour will revisit their debut, leaving fans to ponder the meaning of pet ownership.
Music
Dua Lipa’s Mexico City Live Album Mandated By Local Ordinance
Fans thrilled to hear perfectly reproduced studio tracks, now with added street noise and bureaucratic sighs.
Music
The Pines Of Rome Announce New Album, Blame Art on Lunar Cycles
Indie rock outfit The Pines Of Rome announce new album, citing a decades-long commitment to ’emotional fermentation’ before releasing new tracks.
Music
Chance the Rapper Announces Coloring Book 10th Anniversary Tour Six Years Early
Chance the Rapper has announced his “Coloring Book 10th Anniversary Tour,” celebrating his 2016 mixtape a full six years ahead of schedule.
Music
Jane Remover Drops Surprise ‘Leroy’ Album, Album Art is Just a JPG of a Hamster
Jane Remover surprised fans by dropping a new album under the moniker Leroy, featuring bewildering track titles and a hamster on the cover.
Music
Band proun’s ‘Coloring Pages’ Deemed Anti-Competitive by DOJ
Indie rock band proun’s latest single, “Coloring Pages,” has been flagged by federal regulators for allegedly monopolizing the childhood art supply market.
Technology
Instagram’s Instants Feature Unmasks Millions as Secret Squirrel Enthusiasts
Instagram’s new Instants feature inadvertently exposed millions of users’ most obscure hobbies. Users reported accidental shares of embarrassing photos.
Music
16 Horsepower Reunite, Apocalypse Now More Scheduled Than Ever
16 Horsepower reunited for their first show in 22 years, delighting fans eager for a definitive timeline on the end of the world.
Music
Rolling Stones Finalize Tour Plans: De-Aged Avatars To Perform While Originals Nap
The Rolling Stones’ tour plans involve de-aged digital avatars performing, allowing actual band members to rest.
Music
Alex Cameron Announces 2026 Tour, Promises ‘More Rain’
Alex Cameron announced his 2026 ‘Red Hook Rain’ tour. He plans to bring artificial rain to fans worldwide. Get ready to get wet.
Music
2026 Music Releases: AI Predicts Next Year’s Hits Before They Happen
AI platforms now predict 2026 music releases and upcoming albums. Artists are confused. The industry is already listening to what hasn’t been made yet.
Music
KPop Demon Hunters Announce World Tour, Humanity Braces for Soul-Crushing Merch
The KPop Demon Hunters are embarking on a world tour. Fans anticipate high notes, synchronized choreography, and potential demonic possession, all for a premium.
Music
Billie Eilish Approves Of Phones At Concerts, Mandates Fan Participation
Billie Eilish Approves Of Phones At Concerts, leading to new policies. Venues now provide tripods, encouraging fans to film every minute for ‘collective memory.’
Music
Brian Ennals & Blockhead Drop Boatshoes, Album Promises Existential Dread
Brian Ennals & Blockhead’s new album Boatshoes promises existential dread and bleak beats. Fans prepare for sonic despair.