LOS ANGELES—Guitarist Peter Frampton announced Tuesday the release of his first album in 16 years. The record features collaborations with Sheryl Crow, H.E.R., and Tom Morello. Frampton expressed hope that the new material would be “just okay.” He worried it might not meet modern standards. The album, titled ‘Now, If You Don’t Mind,’ is set for release this fall. This marks Frampton’s first studio album of original material since 2010. He last released ‘Thank You Mr. Churchill.’
Rock Legends Seek Gentler Feedback
Frampton admitted he was “terrified” of the reception. “I’m used to playing to stadiums,” he said. “Now I might have to read comments on YouTube.” He cited concerns over online discourse. “Back in my day, a bad review meant a single angry letter,” Frampton explained. “Now it’s a thousand teenagers telling me my wah pedal is broken.” He hopes the album’s collaborators can shield him. “Maybe H.E.R. can explain things to the kids,” he mused. Fans can hear early singles on Rolling Stone. The publication previewed a track featuring Morello. It’s reportedly “loud.”
Frampton Tries Again
The guitarist previously considered retiring from recording. He cited a lack of inspiration. “I just couldn’t think of anything new to say,” he stated. “Then I remembered I owe my accountant money.” He then reached out to his collaborators. “Sheryl has a great voice. H.E.R. plays guitar really well. Tom just likes loud noises,” Frampton said. He is confident the album will be “passable.” He hopes it doesn’t get “canceled.”
At press time, Frampton was reportedly practicing his acceptance speech for the “Most Improved Artist” award.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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