Alphabet’s New Single ‘Sense’ Reportedly Induces Profound Apathy
London band Alphabet's new single "Sense" has reportedly left listeners with a complete lack of feeling. Experts…
The 5 Best Songs Of The Week Induce Widespread Apathy
The latest list of "The 5 Best Songs Of The Week" has been released, prompting a global surge in quiet…
Talarico Won Texas Democrats With Love, Luck, and a Calculated Lack of Substance
Jon Talarico won Texas Democrats with love, luck, and a calculated lack of substance. Voters found his blandness…