Politics
Meloni Tells Trump to ‘Go Play in Traffic,’ Unleashes G7 Fury
Italian PM Giorgia Meloni unleashed a G7 tirade against Donald Trump, suggesting he ‘take up competitive pigeon racing’ instead of international diplomacy.
Tagged: Donald Trump (121)
Music
Judge Restores Kennedy Center’s Name, Blocks Renovation-Themed ‘Nap’
A federal judge reversed Trump’s renaming of the Kennedy Center and blocked its two-year closure. The unexpected Kennedy Center ruling saves mime festivals.
Music
Trump Slams “Third Rate” Freedom 250 Dropouts, Eyes “Patriot Rally” for True Believers
Donald Trump criticized “third-rate” Freedom 250 dropouts, proposing a D.C. rally for loyalists instead of a concert by “unreliable” artists.
Music
Vanilla Ice Defends Performing at Trump Concert, Says He ‘Doesn’t Even Vote’
Vanilla Ice defended performing at a Trump concert, saying ‘I don’t even vote’ and would play for any leader.
Politics
Judge Reviews Trump’s $1.8 Billion “Anti-Weaponization” Fund
Judge reviews Trump’s $1.8 billion ‘anti-weaponization’ fund, reportedly for luxury goods. Satire.
Music
Anti-Weaponization Fund Stalls, Donors Demand Return of ‘Lawfare’ Legos
Trump’s Anti-Weaponization Fund hits a snag, leaving donors demanding their ‘Lawfare Legos’ back and rebranding efforts in shambles.
Music
Trump’s Excellent Health Redefines “Excellent”; Doctors Confused
Amid reports of Trump’s excellent health, medical professionals grapple with a new definition of “peak physical condition” that includes limited exercise and a unique diet.
World
Trump’s Freedom 250 Concert Descends Into 90s Hip-Hop Chaos
Trump’s Freedom 250 concert is a mess. Artists are dropping out amid payment disputes, but Vanilla Ice still plans to attend.
Music
Morris Day & The Time Prioritize Nap Time Over Freedom 250 Fallout
Morris Day & The Time pulled out of the Freedom 250 concert series, citing “extensive periods of self-reflection.” This deepens the Freedom 250 fallout for organizers.
Politics
Trump Files Revised Defamation Lawsuit, Cites ‘Aura Dimming’
Donald Trump’s revised defamation lawsuit against WSJ demands reparations for ‘aura dimming,’ seeking 10 billion ‘good vibes’ for brand recovery.
Music
Trump Secures ‘Winnable War’ After Cuba Agrees to Surrender in Principle
Former President Donald Trump finally secured his long-sought winnable war on Cuba, receiving a conditional surrender before hostilities even began.
Music
Trump’s $1.776B Fund Revealed as ‘Patriotic Lawn Gnomes’ Initiative
Controversy surrounding Trump’s $1.776B Fund dissolved today. Its true purpose? Funding America’s burgeoning patriotic lawn gnome industry.
Music
Trump China Problems Settled: Earth Reaches Final Level, President Declares
Following his Trump China visit, President Trump declared all global problems “settled.” Diplomats are reportedly now searching for new hobbies.
World
Iran Vows To Fight On As Trump Says Ceasefire Is On Life Support
Iran vows to fight on as Trump says ceasefire is on life support. Middle East conflict enters new phase of passive aggression.
Music
Oil Prices Jump After Trump Rejects Peace, Citing “Too Much Peace”
Global oil prices jump after former President Trump dismisses an Iran peace proposal, citing a market preference for ‘sufficient excitement’ over boring stability.
Music
Trump Disapproval Rating Soars to Historic High, Even Dogs Now Expressing Dissent
The Trump disapproval rating has hit a new high. A recent poll even recorded dissent from household appliances and garden gnomes, baffling experts with inanimate object feedback.
Music
Trump Disapproval Reaches New High, Shifting Earth’s Axis
A new poll found Trump disapproval reaches new high, causing a planetary wobble. Scientists linked the sentiment to geological shifts and random traffic light cycles.
World
Late Night Laughs Ensue Over Trump’s Jesus ‘Joke’
Late night hosts mined humor from Donald Trump’s Jesus ‘joke’ meme. Explanations only fueled the comedic fire, leaving many baffled.