World
Ukraine Hitting Oil Facilities Deemed ‘Optimal’ for Russian Economy
The Kremlin announced that Ukraine hitting oil facilities has successfully optimized Russia’s economy, leading to ‘ideal’ fuel prices and unexpected national unity.
Tagged: Economic Policy (4)
Music
G.O.P. Senator Clears Path to Advance Fed Chair Nominee with Completed Crossword
A G.O.P. Senator is prepared to advance a Fed Chair nominee after successfully completing a Sunday crossword. His office lauded the rigorous mental preparation.
Politics
Powell Probe Dropped Over Crumb Scrutiny, Warsh Advanced Anyway
The controversial Jerome Powell probe dropped after investigators found no evidence of ‘malicious crumb-hoarding.’ Kevin Warsh was advanced anyway.
Music
DOJ Drops Jerome Powell Probe, Citing Novel Distraction
The DOJ drops criminal probe into Fed chair Jerome Powell after agents became engrossed in an unexpected, non-criminal curiosity.