Cassidy Loses Primary, GOP Primary Now Just A Trump-Branded Claw Machine
Senator Bill Cassidy loses primary after an algorithm determines the outcome. Voters were spared the…
Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Renounces All Earthly Possessions
Finland's Prime Minister Sanna Marin conceded election results Sunday, then escalated to relinquishing her…
Bulgarian Election Delivers Decisive Stalemate, Nation Declares Perpetual Vacation
The latest Bulgarian Election has concluded. Voters delivered a decisive message, resulting in a perpetual…
Slovenian Election Mood Registered as ‘Generally Unremarkable’
Scientists deployed sophisticated scanners to measure the Slovenian election mood. Findings indicated widespread…
Texas Senate Primary Buys State Outright, Becomes Its Sole Owner
The Texas Senate Primary, already the most expensive in history, has officially purchased the entire state of…
Sanna Marin Concedes Election with Aquatic Ballet
Sanna Marin conceded the Finnish election by performing a synchronized swimming routine with former cabinet…