Music
Cassidy Loses Primary, GOP Primary Now Just A Trump-Branded Claw Machine
Senator Bill Cassidy loses primary after an algorithm determines the outcome. Voters were spared the inconvenience of actually voting.
Tagged: Election Satire (5)
Music
Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Renounces All Earthly Possessions
Finland’s Prime Minister Sanna Marin conceded election results Sunday, then escalated to relinquishing her entire apartment and favorite pair of socks.
Politics
Bulgarian Election Delivers Decisive Stalemate, Nation Declares Perpetual Vacation
The latest Bulgarian Election has concluded. Voters delivered a decisive message, resulting in a perpetual stalemate and a national “Thinking Holiday.”
Music
Slovenian Election Mood Registered as ‘Generally Unremarkable’
Scientists deployed sophisticated scanners to measure the Slovenian election mood. Findings indicated widespread ‘meh,’ later refined to ‘a cautious shrug,’ offering little clarity for Europe.
Music
Texas Senate Primary Buys State Outright, Becomes Its Sole Owner
The Texas Senate Primary, already the most expensive in history, has officially purchased the entire state of Texas. Voters now receive a loyalty card.