Music
Hew Reconciliation So Powerful It Ends Centuries-Old Feuds
“Hew Reconciliation” by emo band Hew accidentally triggered global peace, forcing world leaders to reconcile centuries-old conflicts and leaving the musicians confused.
Tagged: Emo Music (3)
Music
Coma Regalia Cover Prompts Widespread Napping Disorder
Coma Regalia’s cover of “Guitar And Video Games” by Sunny Day Real Estate causes widespread, inexplicable somnolence, leading to societal disruption.
Music
Vans Warped Tour 2026 Lineup Reunites Skaters With Their Feelings
Vans Warped Tour 2026 Washington D.C. lineup brings back emo bands for aging millennials. Expect existential angst and comfortable shoes.