Music
Iran Closes Strait of Hormuz, Only Trapping a Single Pelican
Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz in a bold move. The decision primarily impacts a single pelican, as global shipping had already abandoned the empty waterway.
Tagged: Geopolitical Satire (5)
Music
Oil Prices Jump After Trump Rejects Peace, Citing “Too Much Peace”
Global oil prices jump after former President Trump dismisses an Iran peace proposal, citing a market preference for ‘sufficient excitement’ over boring stability.
Music
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising “existential” and “vague” solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral backing for ‘whatever,’ including shared feelings.
Music
US Government Requests Satellite Firm to Withhold War Images, Citing Public ‘Wellness’
A satellite imaging firm confirmed it is indefinitely withholding war images of Iran at US request, citing public ’emotional wellness’ and a preference for ‘prettier’ visuals.
Music
White House Task Force Baffled by Logistics of ‘Taking Cuba’
White House officials encountered unexpected hurdles this week in their efforts regarding ‘taking Cuba,’ reportedly finding the island difficult to move.