Iran Closes Strait of Hormuz, Only Trapping a Single Pelican
Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz in a bold move. The decision primarily impacts a single pelican, as global…
Oil Prices Jump After Trump Rejects Peace, Citing “Too Much Peace”
Global oil prices jump after former President Trump dismisses an Iran peace proposal, citing a market preference…
Putin Pledges Support for Iran, Offers Moral Backing for ‘Whatever’
Putin pledges support for Iran, promising "existential" and "vague" solidarity. The Kremlin offered moral…
US Government Requests Satellite Firm to Withhold War Images, Citing Public ‘Wellness’
A satellite imaging firm confirmed it is indefinitely withholding war images of Iran at US request, citing…
White House Task Force Baffled by Logistics of ‘Taking Cuba’
White House officials encountered unexpected hurdles this week in their efforts regarding 'taking Cuba,'…
U.S. Cities Step Up Security By Staring Intensely At Maps
U.S. cities stepped up security amid Iran tensions this week with innovative, highly visible, yet ultimately…