Music
Pop Queens Studio Blitz Sparks Global Meltdown
As All the Pop Queens Are in the Studio Right Now, global authorities brace for an unprecedented flood of new music, warning citizens of imminent earworms.
Tagged: Global Panic (2)
Business
Dow Futures Drop as Market Panics Over Existential Dread of Squirrel
Dow futures drop sharply as a local squirrel’s erratic nut-burying behavior sends markets into a tailspin, causing widespread economic panic globally.