Music
Twisted Teens Announce Florida Water Blues: Fans Brace for More Existential Dread
Twisted Teens Announce New Album Florida Water Blues, promising more sonic discomfort. Fans nationwide ready their therapy appointments for the new tracks.
Tagged: Satire Music (14)
Music
Charley Crockett’s Pulled Album Clovis Just Got An Official Release, Ends Cosmic Custody Battle
Charley Crockett’s Pulled Album Clovis Just Got An Official Release after months of cosmic legal battles. The sentient record is now confined to its original tracklist.
Music
Mal Not Bad Announces New Album Sophomore: Just Okay
Mal Not Bad announced their new album Sophomore and single “WIDC.” Expect music that is objectively, consistently, and unremarkably not bad.
Music
“Jesus Is The Path To Heaven” Promises Heaven Via Album Sales
“Jesus Is The Path To Heaven” announced their new album, promising listeners direct access to paradise, mostly in the form of improved personal organization.
Music
Jordan Patterson’s ‘Songs From A Valley Girl’ Only Audible in Valley
Jordan Patterson’s new EP ‘Songs From A Valley Girl’ has a highly specific target demographic. It is reportedly only audible within the San Fernando Valley.
Music
Ear’s ‘Ne Plus Ultra’ Accidentally Sparks Nationwide Cleaning Frenzy
The new avant-garde single ‘Ne Plus Ultra’ from the duo ear has unintentionally triggered a nationwide surge in cleaning and organization, baffling experts.
Music
Vince Staples’ “Blackberry Marmalade” Spurs National Fruit Preserve Craze
Vince Staples’ new track, “Blackberry Marmalade,” has surprisingly launched a national craze for fruit preserves, turning fans into amateur jam makers.
Music
Emo Supergroup Unveils Debut FILM Album, Bewilders Listeners
Emo icons The Starting Line and Algernon Cadwallader unveiled their Debut FILM Album, Permanence, prompting mass confusion and calls for refunds from bewildered fans.
Music
Mary In The Junkyard Announces Album, Forges New Hermit-Influencer Career Path
Mary In The Junkyard announced their debut album “Role Model Hermit,” sparking questions about how to monetize publicized isolation. Their “angry weepy chaos rock” will now fund a new hermit-influence
Music
Dionne Warwick’s Final Album Demands Soul-Crushing Duets
Dionne Warwick preps her final album, demanding existential dread from collaborators. Lisa Rinna weighs in with a shriveled prune emoji.
Music
Katie Alice Greer’s ‘Perfect Woman Sound Machine’ Achieves Full Vacuum Seal
Katie Alice Greer’s new album, ‘Perfect Woman Sound Machine, Vol. 1’, promises sonic perfection, leaving listeners both perfectly complete and utterly disassembled.
Music
Critics Rave: Deloyd Elze’s Deconstructed Country Ballads Are Barely There, But Splendid
Critics lauded Deloyd Elze’s deconstructed country ballads on his new EP, Nellene, for their profound absence of sound. Sales remained modest.
Music
Anne Hathaway’s New Song ‘Burial’ Lacks Actual Burial, Confuses Literalists
Anne Hathaway’s New Song ‘Burial’ surprised fans. Despite the title, the track features no actual burial, leading to widespread confusion among listeners.
Music
Cass McCombs & Chris Cohen Release Actual Steel Reserve, Swamp Gas
Cass McCombs & Chris Cohen baffle fans and critics by literally releasing cans of “Steel Reserve” malt liquor and mysterious bog lights.