James Blake Credit Removed: Singer Recalls Recording Session From Past Life
James Blake wants his credit removed from Ye’s Bully, claiming his contribution was an astral projection during…
Maná Proves Why It’s Rock en Español Royalty By Extending Tour Into Next Geological Epoch
Maná Proves Why It’s Rock en Español Royalty by extending their 'Vivir Sin Aire' tour into several millennia,…
Skrillex Duro Vibrates Entire Continent Off Axis
Skrillex’s new track “Duro” featuring Young Miko has reportedly caused significant seismic activity, forcing…
Sanna Marin Concedes Election, Pivots to Professional Air Guitar
After Sanna Marin conceded election defeat, the former Finnish PM announced her new career path: competitive…
Shaquille O’Neal Issues Stern Denial on Fart Cologne Allegations
Shaquille O'Neal vehemently denies DMing Sabrina Carpenter about turning her farts into cologne, calling the…
Global Music Authorities Struggle to Select The 5 Best Songs Of The Week; Earth’s Rotation Slows
Global music critics are buckling under the impossible task of selecting The 5 Best Songs Of The Week, leading…
Real-Time Headphone Translations Reveal True Feelings, Shatter Global Peace
Google's new real-time headphone translations feature expanded, but proved too accurate, revealing true feelings…
Lime Garden Cover New Order’s ‘Age Of Consent,’ Unearths Buried Legal Statutes
Lime Garden's live studio cover of New Order's 'Age Of Consent' has triggered long-dormant legal statutes,…
Strange Pains Debut Album Triggers Mild Discomfort Epidemic
Strange Pains' debut album, 'The Diamond District,' is causing listeners to develop bizarre, yet strangely…
Finland’s PM Lost Election Over Controversial Sauna Temperature
Finland's PM Sanna Marin lost her bid for re-election, with exit polls indicating a devastating voter backlash…