Ashnikko’s ‘Smoochie Girl’ Selection Sparks Global Outcry
Ashnikko's 'Smoochie Girl' coronation drew criticism. Experts questioned the selection criteria. The winner…
Thom Yorke Will Release A New Solo Album This Year, Reportedly Under Duress
Thom Yorke Will Release A New Solo Album This Year, forced by contract. Record label seeks to harvest 'melodic…
Afghan Whigs Celebrate 40 Years of Unwavering Gloom with New Single
The Afghan Whigs released 'House of I,' their first new single in four years, ahead of their 40th-anniversary…
SEC Ceases Faraday Future Investigation, Citing ‘Extreme Boredom’
The SEC officially dropped its Faraday Future investigation, admitting the four-year probe yielded less evidence…
Chappell Roan’s Security Denies Hating *All* Children, Clarifies Specific Preferences
Chappell Roan's security team clarifies it does not hate *all* children, only those meeting specific height,…
Harry Styles’ Disco Reign Blocks Sun, Causes Perpetual Groove
Harry Styles' Disco Reign extends to cosmic proportions. His latest album causes global rhythm shifts, alters…
Justin Timberlake Arrest Video Shows Star Worried About Missing Gherkin
The Justin Timberlake Arrest Video reveals the pop star was more concerned about a misplaced gherkin than his…
Chappell Roan: “I Do Not Hate Children” (But Prefers They Remain Unseen)
Chappell Roan issued a firm statement, "I Do Not Hate Children," attempting to clarify her stance after an…
ICE at Airports: Agency to ‘Streamline’ Travel, Add ‘Emotional Support’ Agents
ICE at airports are set to 'streamline' travel, adding 'Emotional Support Agents' to ensure 'national…
Ras Laffan Attack Reveals Global Gas Supply Was Just an Elaborate Play
The Ras Laffan Attack exposed a shocking truth: the global natural gas supply was always an elaborate illusion.…