Music
Platner’s Graceless Exit Video Deemed ‘Masterclass in Blame-Shifting’
Graham Platner’s graceless exit video has become a mandatory curriculum at a local university, teaching future politicians the art of blame-shifting.
Tagged: Satirical News (17)
Music
Sledgehammer of Truth: Gabriel’s Rap Verse Causes Global Confusion
Peter Gabriel’s unexpected rap collaboration with IDK, “IDK What I’m Doing,” has left fans and musicologists equally bewildered, sparking a bizarre generational cultural exchange.
Music
Olivia Rodrigo Shares ‘Stupid Song,’ World Prepares for Unprecedented Simplicity
Olivia Rodrigo Shares ‘stupid song,’ a new track celebrated for its total lack of depth. Experts praise its groundbreaking commitment to banality.
Music
Public Holds Breath as ‘When Kevin Gets Free’ Countdown Nears
Millions braced for the anticipated moment of ‘When Kevin Gets Free,’ misunderstanding the Public Opinion single as a literal liberation event.
Music
Friday Night Lights Band Crucifictorious Reunites, Declares Daniel Johnston Their ‘Unsung Mentor’
The Friday Night Lights Band Crucifictorious reunited to cover Daniel Johnston, stirring fervent debate over their interpretation and the very fabric of fictional rock.
Politics
Trump Files Revised Defamation Lawsuit, Cites ‘Aura Dimming’
Donald Trump’s revised defamation lawsuit against WSJ demands reparations for ‘aura dimming,’ seeking 10 billion ‘good vibes’ for brand recovery.
Music
RAYE Sets Acting Debut, Confirms Music Was Just Audition Tape
Pop star RAYE Sets Acting Debut, raising concerns that her intense musical performances were just method acting for a role in Yann Demange’s thriller.
Music
Madonna, Wintour Star in ‘Confessions II’ Teaser for ‘Devil Wears Prada 2’
Madonna and Anna Wintour confuse the internet with a ‘Confessions II’ theatrical promo for ‘Devil Wears Prada 2,’ featuring sock drawer advice.
Music
Ravyn Lenae and Dominic Fike Put Loyalty to the Test on ‘Reputation’ with Mandatory Polygraphs
Ravyn Lenae and Dominic Fike Put Loyalty to the Test on ‘Reputation’, inspiring label-wide mandatory polygraphs and loyalty bracelets that beep at disloyalty.
Music
Israel Blocks Palm Sunday Mass with Innovative ‘Divine Bureaucracy’ Initiative
Israel’s new ‘Divine Bureaucracy’ initiative successfully barred church leaders from Palm Sunday mass, streamlining spiritual access with permits and priority lanes.
Music
Island Becomes Ferret-Free, Residents Grapple With Sudden Onset of Peace
Cragglethorpe Island declares itself ferret-free, thanks to Woody the wonderdog, but residents and the local economy struggle with unexpected peace.
Music
Failure’s ‘A Way Down’ Single Spurs Infrastructure Collapse
Failure’s new single, ‘A Way Down,’ has been linked to inexplicable gravitational anomalies and widespread structural failure. Authorities warn against listening near load-bearing walls.
Music
Latto Announces Pregnancy, Sparks Debate Over Album vs. Due Date
Rapper Latto announced pregnancy on her new album ‘Big Mama’ cover, leaving fans to wonder if the LP would drop before or after her actual due date.
Music
Sturgill Simpson’s Johnny Blue Skies Album to Stream, Fans Warned of Imminent Joy
Sturgill Simpson’s Johnny Blue Skies album, “Mutiny After Midnight,” will likely stream with bonus tracks, contradicting earlier physical-only plans.
Music
BLACKPINK’s ‘DEADLINE’ Album Forces Global Productivity Surge
BLACKPINK’s ‘DEADLINE’ album has unexpectedly compelled listeners worldwide into a frenzied state of productivity, leading to record-breaking task completion.
Music
Repatriation Flights Strain Global Infrastructure as “Trapped” Tourists Refuse to Disembark
Global repatriation flights face unexpected resistance as “trapped” Middle East travelers, having found new lives, refuse to disembark, creating logistical chaos.
Music
Tracey Nelson – ‘Dolly’s Coat’ Single Mysteriously Shrinks All Outerwear
The new single, Tracey Nelson – ‘Dolly’s Coat,’ released Friday, has reportedly caused a nationwide shrinking of all outerwear, baffling experts and listeners alike.