Technology
Google TV Adds YouTube Shorts to Homescreen, Embracing Digital Chaos
Google TV adds YouTube Shorts to homescreen, embracing digital chaos. Users now have more ways to scroll endlessly.
Tagged: Tech Satire (34)
Technology
YouTube Offers Free Picture-in-Picture to Global Users, U.S. Still Paying
YouTube now offers free picture-in-picture globally, leaving U.S. users in the digital dark ages.
World
Paragon Ignores Italian Spyware Probe, Cites ‘Very Busy Being A Spyware Company’
Paragon, a spyware maker, is reportedly not cooperating with Italian authorities probing spyware attacks, citing being ‘too busy’.
Technology
OpenAI Phone Promises AI Agents Will Replace All Your Annoying Apps
OpenAI’s rumored phone will replace apps with AI agents, promising seamless interaction and existential convenience.
Technology
Google’s Gemini ‘Proactive Assistance’ Promises to Annoy You Before You Ask
Google’s Gemini ‘Proactive Assistance’ will offer unsolicited AI help, potentially leading to more interruptions than actual assistance.
Technology
Galaxy Book 6 Edge Leaks So Much It Now Owns a Press Conference
The Galaxy Book 6 Edge has reportedly leaked itself so thoroughly that Samsung executives are now receiving unsolicited promotional emails from the device.
Technology
Foldable iPhone Ultra Leak Reveals Device Already Obsolete
Leaked Foldable iPhone Ultra documents reveal a device with innovative features like folding and ‘Android-style’ cameras, promising a truly unique experience from last year.
Music
SpaceX’s Orbital Data Centers Promise Astronomical Valuation Justification
SpaceX announced plans for orbital data centers, promising to justify its bewildering valuation. Experts praised the lack of gravity and earthly regulations.
Technology
Apple Releases iOS 26.5 Beta 1, Adds New Ways To Ignore Notifications
Apple’s iOS 26.5 beta 1 introduces new features for ignoring notifications, letting users reclaim their lives… or just ignore them more efficiently.
Technology
Android 17 Beta 3 Restores Single Tap Wi-Fi Toggle, Humanity Rejoices
Android 17 Beta 3 brings back the single tap Wi-Fi toggle. Users celebrate reclaiming precious seconds.
Music
Meta’s Big Tobacco Moment: Courts Mandate Nationwide Digital Detox Camps
Following Meta’s Big Tobacco Moment, courts mandated nationwide digital detox camps, forcing users offline. Zuckerberg pivots to an ‘Offlineverse’ of real-world activities.
Technology
AMD’s Ryzen 9 9950X3D2 Dual Edition Offers Double the Cache, Triple the Existential Dread
AMD’s Ryzen 9 9950X3D2 Dual Edition features world’s first dual 3D V-Cache. Users grapple with complex cache optimization.
Business
Musk Found Liable For Misleading Twitter Shareholders, Blames ‘Bad Vibe’
Elon Musk found liable for misleading Twitter shareholders, blames ‘bad vibe.’ Jury says billionaire’s tweets were deceptive.
Technology
Microsoft Promises Less AI Crap In Windows 11
Microsoft promises a less terrible Windows 11 by removing AI bloat. Users rejoice, for now.
Music
Apple’s 50th Anniversary Commemorated with Mandatory Company-Wide ‘Silence Protocol’
Apple’s 50th Anniversary is marked by a new ‘Silence Protocol,’ mandating quiet contemplation for employees to foster ‘unparalleled creativity.’
Technology
Galaxy S26 Trade-In Values Plummet After Users Realize Phones Are Identical
The Galaxy S26 series is on sale, but trade-in values have crashed. Consumers find the new phones are almost identical to the old ones.