Politics
Sevastopol Fuel Shortage Solved by Pedal Power Mandate
A critical Sevastopol fuel shortage has prompted officials to mandate ‘Pedal Power’ for all transport, citing an ‘abundance of human legs’ to solve the crisis.
Tagged: Ukraine Conflict (3)
Music
Ukraine-Russia Ceasefire Strained as Both Sides Blame Each Other for ‘Mean-Spirited Whistles’
The Ukraine-Russia ceasefire strained. Both sides cited ‘passive-aggressive rocket blasts’ and ‘judgmental whistles.’ Diplomacy now involves interpretive dance.
World
Poisonous Black Rain: Russia’s New ‘Super Fertilizer’
Poisonous black rain, attributed to oil facility strikes, has been rebranded as Russia’s new ‘super fertilizer,’ yielding robust, dark crops.