CHICAGO—The Smashing Pumpkins announced a 30th anniversary tour for their seminal 1995 album, Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness. The tour will kick off in 2026. This marks the second time the band has celebrated a major album anniversary a year after the actual date. The band previously toured for the 20th anniversary of Gish in 2013, two years after its actual 20th anniversary. Fans expressed a mixture of confusion and resignation. Many cited the band’s history of temporal anomalies. The Smashing Pumpkins are known for their sprawling discography. They are also known for their elastic relationship with the calendar. This tour promises to revisit the sprawling grandeur of Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness. Expect a generous helping of deep cuts. Expect existential dread. Expect to pay $400 for a VIP meet-and-greet.
Corgan Blames Cosmic Misalignment
Frontman Billy Corgan attributed the delay to a unique astrological conjunction. “The celestial bodies were not aligned for optimal nostalgia reception in 2025,” Corgan stated. He explained that the energies required for a proper Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness retrospective were only now reaching peak resonance. “It’s not that we forgot. It’s that the universe forgot, and then we remembered it remembering,” added Corgan. He also mentioned that the band’s management team was busy. They were reportedly planning the next phase of their Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness nostalgia cycle. This could include a limited edition vinyl box set of Billy Corgan’s socks.
Fans Offer Mixed Reactions
Longtime fan Brenda Glickman, 52, seemed unsurprised. “Honestly, I’m just glad they’re touring at all,” she said. “Last time they did an anniversary thing, I showed up a year early. I ended up seeing a really depressing community theater production of Our Town instead.” Another fan, Kevin Chumbley, 48, was more critical. “It’s a bit galling,” Chumbley stated. “But I guess it’s better than them cancelling. They did that for the Siamese Dream tour. Remember that? They just sent out a press release that said ‘Nah.'” The band promised to play Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness in its entirety. They also hinted at a surprise performance of a lost track. It is reportedly titled “The Crying of the Smashing Pumpkins (But a Year Later).”
The tour dates will be announced soon. They will likely be announced sometime after the tour should have already happened. Official band information may offer further temporal clarification. Or it may not.
At press time, sources confirmed that Corgan was seen arguing with a calendar. He reportedly demanded it “get in line.”
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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