CHICAGO—Drag City Records announced Tuesday the forthcoming release of posthumous material from the late, great Ed Askew. The Final Painting, due July 31, will feature contributions from Bill Callahan and Sharon Van Etten. The posthumous Ed Askew album includes recordings salvaged from a dumpster behind a Chicago-area Starbucks. Sources claim the tapes were damaged by spilled oat milk. Askew died in 2017. His unique vocal style has been described as ‘a weary sigh made flesh.’
Deep Cuts Found In Dumpster
The tapes were discovered by a sanitation worker. He heard faint strumming and what sounded like a dying kazoo. He initially thought it was his ex-wife’s car alarm. “I’ve heard a lot of things in dumpsters,” said sanitation worker Gary Spleen. “But this was special. It sounded like it was recorded in a tin can. Or maybe a very sad birdhouse.” The posthumous Ed Askew album will feature songs like ‘My Cat Is Sad Too’ and ‘The Crumb I Found Under The Couch.’ Callahan and Van Etten reportedly added minimal overdubs. They mostly just sighed sympathetically in the background. Askew’s estate did not comment. They are currently locked in a bitter dispute over his sock collection.
Critical Acclaim Expected
Music critics are already hailing the posthumous Ed Askew album as a masterpiece. They praised its ‘minimalist aesthetic’ and ‘brave use of silence.’ “It truly captures the ephemeral nature of existence,” stated one critic. He identified himself as Earl Piffle, Official Rock Critic Emeritus. “You can almost smell the despair. And maybe stale coffee.” The album is expected to receive a Grammy. The award would be for Best Album Consisting Entirely of Sounds One Might Hear While Waiting For a Bus.
At press time, sources confirmed the posthumous Ed Askew album also features a lengthy track of just his breathing. It is titled ‘Inhale/Exhale.’
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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