CAPE CANAVERAL—NASA announced Thursday that the Artemis II rocket would return to the Vehicle Assembly Building (VAB). The colossal spacecraft required unexpected “repairs.” Officials later revealed the true nature of the issue: the rocket had been left unplugged since its last major assembly.
A Draining Situation
Mission control staff apparently overlooked the crucial power cable. It dangled just feet from a standard 120V outlet. “We just assumed it charged wirelessly,” stated Brenda ‘The Breaker’ Systems, Head of Orbital Power Management. “Honestly, we thought the ‘low battery’ warning light was a decorative feature.” The oversight means more delays for the highly anticipated lunar mission. Learn more about the Artemis Program here.
The decision came after weeks of intensive diagnostic tests. Engineers ran countless simulations. All pointed to an inexplicable lack of power. Eventually, a junior intern noticed the rocket’s power indicator. It was blinking a frantic red. VAB staff then had to tow the massive Artemis II rocket back across the tarmac. This delicate, hours-long process itself took several days.
Prevention Measures Under Review
“We are implementing new protocols immediately,” explained Dr. Miles ‘Sparky’ Volts, NASA’s Chief of Plug-In Procedures. “Every pre-flight checklist will now include ‘Is it plugged in?’ as item number one.” He assured the public that future rockets would feature larger, more obvious charging ports. Some may even have an audible “ding” when unplugged.
The exact cost of this oversight remains undisclosed. Critics questioned the rigor of pre-launch inspections. Others wondered if the rocket could have simply used a very long extension cord. The Artemis II rocket is now safely back inside the Vehicle Assembly Building. Technicians are reportedly searching for the correct charging adapter.
At press time, NASA was reportedly considering adding a ‘Find My Rocket’ feature to the next generation of spacecraft, in case anyone misplaced the entire vehicle again.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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