LONDON—The Boards of Canada Backrooms synergy has reportedly trapped thousands of filmgoers. A track from the electronic duo’s new album, “Inferno,” plays during the end credits of the highly anticipated A24 film. Viewers found themselves unable to leave theaters. They developed a sudden taste for fluorescent lighting. Many began questioning the structural integrity of the concession stand.
Unsettling Harmony
“We knew the track ‘The World Becomes Flesh’ had a unique resonance,” stated Dr. Agnes Periwinkle, Lead Auditory Ontologist at the Institute for Perceptual Drift. “But its ability to render physical space meaningless was unexpected. Many just kept walking in circles. They looked for an exit that wasn’t there.” She added that some individuals had begun to “perceive the popcorn machine as a sentient entity with a vast, unknowable interior,” according to a report published in the Journal of Applied Psychogeography.
Emergency services struggled to extricate patrons. Several multiplexes declared themselves “permanent liminal zones.” The soundtrack’s subtle drone enhanced the effect. This marked a new era for the Boards of Canada Backrooms phenomenon. Local authorities deployed specialized teams. They carried large arrows and reassuringly normal-sized doors.
The Album’s Intent
“Our aim with Inferno was to explore themes of temporal decay and the subjective nature of reality,” explained Marcus Ethereal, Boards of Canada’s reclusive spokesperson, via a faxed statement sent from a non-existent postal code. “We merely provided the sonic architecture. The film provided the perfect visual counterpart. Viewers could fully *experience* the non-euclidean implications of our work.”
Retail corridors adjacent to affected cinemas reported an increase in aimless wandering. Patrons repeatedly asked for a “sense of direction.” Experts now warn against combining “Inferno” with any A24 film. The unique pairing of Boards of Canada Backrooms material proved too potent. Psychologists recommended immediate exposure to natural sunlight and linear narratives.
At press time, a small child was reportedly trying to purchase a ticket to “The Backrooms” by offering a single, slightly damp crayon.
This article is satirical fiction by Badum.ai. All quotes, people, and events described are entirely fictional and intended for comedic purposes only.
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